
Deception Tip 5:
Guilty people often avoid using contractions as if to emphasize their innocence.
Example: using did not instead of didnโt.
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Podcast Transcript
Hello, and welcome to the Deception Tips Podcast, where you will learn amazing cues to detect deceit that will help you read people like never before. Iโm your host, Spencer Coffman. Letโs get started.
Welcome to episode 5 of the Deception Tips Podcast. Last time, we went over a behavioral sign that is very easy to spot. In addition, when you see it, you can be almost sure, there is some form of deception going on.ย
This sign occurs when someone is performing a physical task and then, when that person is questioned or doubted in any way, or is asked to tell more of their story, they stop doing whatever they are doing to tell the lie. This is because a lie is a conscious effort. They have to think about it. They have to plan for it. They have to prepare it.
Lies are very stressful for the physiological responses of the human body. When someone is doing some form of simple task, that task is usually an unconscious task. Itโs something that they do often enough, so often that it becomes a habit. Itโs a form of habit for them.ย
Therefore, when they recite this rehearsed lie, the lie that they had to think about consciously, their unconscious stops doing that unconscious task because, as weโve talked about before, the unconscious is very, very truthful. So when the conscious tries to sneak out a rehearsed lie, and the unconscious is busy doing some unconscious task, it stops because itโs trying to catch the consciousโ lie. It wants to leak some form of nonverbal behavior.
Whatโs ironic though is the fact that the unconscious stopped performing a certain task is a form of leakage in and of itself. So remember that when people are doing those tasks and you question them if they stop working that is a red flag for you.ย
However, there is an exception. Some people are unable to talk and work at the same time or work and talk. Youโve heard that saying, some people arenโt able to walk and chew gum, they canโt even walk and chew gum at the same time.
Those people who cannot talk and work at the same time. Theyโre going to stop no matter what. It doesnโt matter if theyโre telling the truth or telling a lie. Theyโre going to stop doing whatever task when they respond. So for them, it would be the opposite.ย
They would probably keep working through their lie because that is something that theyโre just going to keep on doing in an effort to tell the like. Doing that work, itโs stressful, they kind of forgot about it.
So the point here is that it is a deviation from normal behavior. You need to establish baselines in any case and with anybody, and if they deviate from that normal pattern then you have a good basis to understand that that is probably a lie. And in that case, you need to prod, use further questioning, and watch for additional signs of behavior because there will ALWAYS be more than one sign.
Today we are going to talk about a different sign of deception that is a verbal sign. It is something that will occur when people are talking. It is a form of speech or a different pattern of speech. Itโs a subtle form of leakage. One that you most likely donโt notice.
However, once youโre made aware of it, it will stand out like a neon light. You begin to hear it happen in conversation all around you and youโll start to wonder whether or not all of those people are lying or whether itโs simply happening in the conversation.
With that, here is Deception Tip 5: Guilty people often avoid using contractions, as if to emphasize their innocence. For example, using โdid notโ instead of โdidnโt.โ Here it is again- Guilty people often avoid using contractions, as if to emphasize their innocence. For example, using โdid notโ instead of โdidnโt.โ
The reason this happens is that when people lie, they not only need to convince the target that the lie is true, but they are also working hard to convince themselves. The conscious is trying so hard to convince itself that the lie is true so that it can get it past the unconscious because if the person believes itโs true, then the unconscious will let the guard down and those signs of leakage may not show up.
This happens all the time with people who are considered sociopathic or psychopathic individuals. They believe what they say all the time and they seem to talk with a silver tongue. People will always believe them, they look so believable, theyโre very confident, and they never show any signs of leakage. This is because they BELIEVE their lies. And that is a big red flag for anyone. If you start believing your lie, you know thereโs a problem.
In addition, itโs very difficult to read those people because they donโt display any signs of deception. So for them, everything youโre learning here is pretty much out the window. The main thing to look for in those types of people is a deviation from normal behavior.ย
And whatever their normal behavior is, you need to find something that deviates from that in order to tell whether or not they are lying. The good thing for you is, that there arenโt many of those people out there that are that pathological or that, letโs say, sick because they are sick. They are sick in the mind. They need some form of treatment. There is something wrong with them- a screw loose, as you would say.
Many people are borderline there, or theyโre not quite sick yet. Theyโre unhealthy. Those people will display the signs. 90% of the people out there, you will be able to see this on, youโll be able to see all the signs on if you look for them.
When it comes to speech patterns, we typically talk using the path of least resistance. This means we say things fast, often times we donโt enunciate enough. In addition, we tend to slur our words together to try to make it easier for us to get our message across and communicate with people.ย
This is why when you learn another language it always sounds like theyโre talking so fast like you canโt understand them. But itโs the same for them when they try to learn our language. We talk fast. Itโs human nature. We speak with, like I said, the path of least resistance. โI donโt knowโ becomes โI dunnoโ and โthank youโ becomes โthanks.โ
We shorten things. We make it efficient for us to use. Weโre always abbreviating, weโre always using things like contractions. We say โdonโt,โ โcouldnโt,โ โwouldnโt,โ and โshouldnโt.โ This is because we want to get our message out as quickly and as easily as possible.ย
Most of the time itโs because people like to talk and if they shorten things up, they can say even more. This is interesting because, in our everyday conversations, weโre trying to get our message out as fast as we can.
When we lie, weโre under an immense amount of stress and our body is under stress and our mind. There is a lot of anxiety and pressure. Usually, liars try to get the lie out as fast as they can. And this happens all the time. In many of the other behavioral signs, liars try to get lies out as fast as they can.ย
So this is interesting that liars tend not to use contractions because you would think that a contraction would help them with their lie. The reason they donโt use them is that the unconscious puts that in there as a sign of leakage.
Itโs almost as if there are two separate entities battling each other and theyโre actually entities. Like two different people when, in fact, theyโre one being of the same person. The unconscious knows that, typically, we try to talk and we use contractions. So it splits up a contraction when the conscious is trying to tell a lie.
Youโve heard this before- โI didnโt do it.โ โI did not do it.โ Weโve had a few famous presidents say things like that. โI am not a crook.โ Weโll get a soundbite in here. โI am not a crook. I have burned everything Iโve got.โ โI am not a crook.โ You see he should have said, โIโm not a crook.โย
In addition, how about Willie? โI did not have?โ You know the saying. โ I did not have sexual relations with that woman.โ There are a lot of people who, when they lie, they put emphasis on the words that are hopefully going to prove their innocence.
โI DID NOT.โ Thatโs a statement of innocence. That is why they tend to split up the contractions because they think that itโs going to put more emphasis on the fact that they are innocent. They did NOT do it. But what they donโt know is if they just say โI didnโt do it,โย
It sounds a lot more believable. It sounds a lot more natural. Because we use contractions in everyday speech, when we donโt use them, it sounds a little different. Itโs a little odd. And now that you realize this and notice it, now that Iโve told you, youโre going to start noticing these everywhere. Iโve got a few more examples for you as well as some of the rationale behind this coming up after this.
Have you ever gone to purchase a vehicle or appliance and werenโt really sure if the salesman was telling the truth? Now thereโs a book that will help you spot the telltale signs of lying. Itโs Spencer Coffmanโs A Guide to Deception. Grab your copy today on spencercoffman.com or any major retailer.
Listen to this sentence. โI didnโt steal your car.โ Notice how it simply flowed off the tongue. It was easy to say. It was easy for you to hear. You didnโt think anything of it, nor should you because itโs the truth. It sounded true because it sounded natural. โI didnโt steal your car.โ You still have your car hopefully. No one has stolen it. It wasnโt me. It sounded natural. I was confident in saying it. Thatโs all there is to it.
Now listen to this sentence. โ I did not steal your car.โ Notice how it sounded a little bit staccato-like. It was broken up. โI did not steal your car.โ Why did he say that extra not? What was up with the emphasis?ย
It should have been โI didnโt steal your car,โ and now you say โI did not steal your car.โ Thereโs a lot of emphasis on that word and thatโs just how it came off the tongue. I didnโt even stress those words. But because itโs there with the โnotโ and the โdid notโ they sound off because we donโt speak like that. You clearly heard the words โdidโ and โnot.โ They were the main focus of the sentence.
It sounds like this because itโs completely unnatural. It isnโt as easy to say โdid notโ as it is to say โdidnโt.โ โDidnโtโ comes off the tongue, itโs easy to say, so are all contractions. Contractions are easy to say. Whereas when they split up, itโs more work for them to say it. This is very interesting, as we said before because liars try to get it out as fast as they can.ย
They want to tell their lie. Thatโs what theyโve planned for, theyโve prepared for. Or theyโre just telling it spontaneously as a form of protection. They want to convince the target and they want to convince themselves. This is why they split up a contraction.
By avoiding the use of contractions, they are adding additional emphasis and stress to those words. Theyโre hammering home their point. Their confession of innocence in their mind. Theyโre consciously reinforcing the statement of the lie.ย
The conscious thinks it has everything figured out. In reality, it has no clue what is going on. After all, the unconscious dominates over 90% of our actions and behavior. A lot of figures say that itโs 70%. Itโs a lot more. Think of all the things that you think about. Itโs 70% in conversation, but you think about a lot of things in your mind, unconsciously and consciously.
Our body and our world are ruled by our unconscious. Think about this. You donโt have to consciously think to breathe, walk, move, hear, beat your heart, swallow, etcetera. All this stuff happens involuntarily. Unconsciously. That alone should prove that the conscious cannot be trusted 100% of the time. When it tries to lie, the unconscious always knows better.
The unconscious of the listener knows better as well. So the target here is this unnatural speech that the unconscious mind of the liar slipped in there. And somethingโs off in the targetโs mind. Theyโre saying โWhatโs going on? Something just doesnโt sound quite right.โย
The target hears that and, at first, they might not think anything of it. But now that you know, realize, and understand what it means, it will stand out to you instantly. Itโll stand out like a sore thumb.
Of course, if you start hearing the lack of contractions, you need to remember that it isnโt a sure thing that someone is lying. He or she may be telling the truth. They may simply talk in a manner of not using contractions because maybe they were an essay writer and they needed to use more words. And by splitting up each contraction they got two words instead of one. So they developed a natural habit of writing that way. You never know.
There could be any form of explanation or circumstance. This is why it is important to look for patterns and clusters of behavior because there will ALWAYS be more than one sign.ย
So stay vigilant and use the signs weโve already gone over and youโve already learned as entry points for further questioning to see if there are any other signs of deception. There will always be more than one sign.
I want to thank you for listening to this podcast and I encourage you to share it with your friends, subscribe to the feed, follow the Deception Tips blog, take a look at the books I have available, and, as always, tune in for a new Deception Tip.
Video Transcript
Hey guys, my name is Spencer Coffman. Thank you for tuning in to theย Deception Tips Videos. Theyโre all about teaching you how to read people that detect deception so that you will know if someone is lying to you.
Today we are going to talk about a cool thing, and itโs a verbal sign of deception that is something that happens all the time. It is probably one of the most prevalent signs out there and it happens all the time, but you may not notice it happens. So this is one called contractions. Itโs something that we speak with in everyday language. We love to use them and when we donโt use them, it could be a sign of deception.
So here it is Deception Tip Number 5: Guilty people often avoid using contractions as if to emphasize their innocence. Example: Using did not instead of didnโt.
โI did not do it.โ โI didnโt do it.โ You see there is a stark, and profound difference. โI did not do itโ, โI didnโt do it.โ Which one sounds more authoritative and more, has more emphasis behind it? Itโs obviously the โI did not do itโ. Because Iโm stressing those extra syllables. Iโm saying โDid not do itโ. That is something that we donโt normally speak with. In normal conversation, humans are very, you can call it lazy or you can call it efficient, whichever you choose. Humans are one or the other. Itโs both, really. We like to speak as quickly as possible. We like to get our point across, most of us anyway, like to get our point across as quickly as possible with the least amount of effort possible.
So if I am gonna use language and talk, Iโm gonna use contractions. You noticed right there, I said, โIโm gonnaโ. Well, โgonnaโ is not really a word in the English language. Itโs kind of slang. Instead, you would say โgoing toโ. But, thatโs not efficient. I slur them together to make it more efficient, just like Iโd say, โI didnโt do thatโ, or โIโm not going to do thatโ, or โIโmโ, or โyouโreโ. We put words together to speed up the process and make it a little quicker.
Therefore, when someone doesnโt do that, it sounds a little abnormal. And now that you know of this, now that Iโm pointing this out, youโre going to start to notice it a lot. Youโre going to hear people say: โI am going to the store todayโ, or โI did not do thatโ, or โI will not do thatโ, instead of wonโt, or โdidnโtโ, or โIโmโ. Things like that. Youโre going to start to notice that theyโre going to stand out like red flags in your mind and you will wonder whether or not that person is really telling the truth. And the reason that this happens is because the conscious wants to get that lie out as quick as possible.
So you would think that if the conscious wants that lie to come out really quickly, it would use contractions. Because then that would be less words it would have to say, it would come out a lot faster, be more efficient, which is the case. However, the unconscious wants that liar to be caught. They want the truth to come out. I speak of it like itโs two separate things, but really itโs the same. Itโs two entities within your brain, conscious and unconscious, theyโre always fighting.
So the unconscious is the one that separates that contraction to make it more noticeable so that the liar can be caught in that lie. By saying โI did not do itโ, that is separating a contraction, itโs putting more emphasis on that so that in a way, it kind of satisfies the conscious as well because now the conscious says, โboy I really put some emphasis on that lie, I really convinced them.โ And the unconscious says, โgood, I got it. I split apart a contraction, which is normal, and I made it sound abnormal.โ
So pay attention to the use of contractions in everyday language and always keep in mind that people could break apart contractions for any reason. Maybe, for example, in writing. Kids who have to write a 500-word essay, they were, theyโre going to separate every single contraction, because they donโt want to hit, you know, they want to get 500 words as fast as possible, and by saying โI amโ, and โdid notโ, thatโs two words instead of one. So if youโre reading it, thatโs a whole different story. And, in addition, when people talk, they may split apart contractions as a form of habit. Maybe itโs part of their grammar, maybe they really are think that theyโre high society and want to portray that theyโre really well educated, and so they split apart everything and try to talk proper.
But there are a variety of different reasons that it could happen if you pay attention to it and youโre aware of it when it happens, then you can look for additional signs. Because there will always be more than one sign. Youโll start to see patterns and clusters of behavior and then you can be certain that someone is lying to you.
So if this is your first time watching this channel, I would love to have you subscribe to it on YouTube. In addition, if you have any questions or comments, feel free to leave โem there as well.
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Until next time.