
Deception Tip 17:
Liars add lots of detail to their stories and can be overly specific. Whereas truth tellers use more general statements and estimations.
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Podcast Transcript
Hello, and welcome to the Deception Tips Podcast, where you will learn amazing cues to detect deceit that will help you read people like never before. Iโm your host, Spencer Coffman. Letโs get started.
Welcome to episode 17 of the Deception Tips Podcast. Last time, we talked about symmetrical gestures and how body language is often symmetrical at least truthful body language.ย
So, when people are doing things with their hands, or shrugging their shoulders, etcetera, you expect it to happen the same on both sides of the body. So, if someone thinks they donโt know the answer and they shrug their shoulders, theyโre going to shrug both shoulders together. If they turn their hands upward, both hands are going to go upward and itโs going to be a complete cluster of gestures that happen symmetrically on both sides of the body.
However, if someone is lying or if they are saying something and they donโt believe what theyโre saying- like they have no confidence in what they just said, youโll tend to see a one-sided shoulder shrug or asymmetrical gestures.ย
Such as, if someone claims, โOh yes! Our stock prices are going to go up!โ A big business CEO or something like that. And, he may say that and one shoulder will go up. That tells you he has no confidence in what he just said. Stock prices are not going to go up. Theyโre going to go down.
So, most of the time, when people have asymmetrical gestures they are going to be lying. And this is the same with expressions on the face. We talked about that in episode 14 with emotions being displayed on the face.ย
Predominantly, smiles are largely symmetrical. And so, when things happen, things like smiles, surprise, any of these micro-expressions, you expect them to happen on both sides of the face. If, however, they donโt, that could be a deceptive gesture.
Now, be sure to watch for these more on the left side of the face than the right side because the left side of the face is controlled by the right cerebral hemisphere which is more predominant in false emotions.ย
Remember we also talked about simultaneous gestures which is another form of symmetricality between speech and body language. We did that in episode 12 and that is like when people point and talk, or when they hit the table and talk, their gestures are going to mirror or be in synchronization with the words that theyโre saying. You expect them to match up. There needs to be some symmetricality there.
So, the bottom line with all of this is that truthful speech, body language, emotions, speech, and body language all need to be symmetrical. Everything has to be in unison. Cohesive. It happens together. It happens naturally and it looks like it belongs.ย
If ever you see something that is not symmetrical, or asymmetrical, then you can start to question whether or not that is a deceptive behavior or if that person is lying, or if they simply donโt believe what theyโre saying. But, the point is that something is fishy about that. Something is off.
So, today we are going to talk about another form of lying. This is more of a tactic that you can use, but itโs also something that youโll have to learn to realize. Sort of like when we talked about staying silent because liars are going to continue to talk to fill the void. And rehearsed stories, about how liars rehearse them in order instead of backward. So, itโs kind of a trick you can use.
This one is about how liars will continue to tell their story and add more detail. Because usually, as we talked about when theyโre going to continue talking to fill the gap, how they are trying to not only convince the target of their lie, but they are also working really hard to convince themselves of the lie.ย
Even though they may have rehearsed it and planned it, theyโre still trying to talk themselves into it. Theyโre selling the target and theyโre selling themselves on that lie. As a result, theyโre going to continue to add a lot of detail to these lies and that is the tip we are going to talk about today.
So, here it is. Deception Tip 17: Liars add lots of detail to their stories and can be overly specific. Whereas truth-tellers tend to use more general statements and estimations. Here it is again. Liars add lots of detail to their stories and can be overly specific. Whereas truth-tellers use more general statements and estimations.
Liars are trying very, very hard to convince people that their story is true. They are also trying very, very hard to convince themselves. As a result, they will use detail- abundantly- to try to convince and put all that stuff together so that it sounds more believable. What they donโt realize is that most people donโt remember all of this detail.
So, for example, a liar may say, โYeah. I went to the market and I remember there was a tree that broke. And it was down on the side of the road there from the storm last night and that was probably at around 3:45. And then when I got to the supermarket, that was about 4 oโclock and I went down aisle 27 and I had to ask somebody where the powdered sugar was. And, at that point, I went over and got some baking soda and the powdered sugar of course.โ
And you see there is a lot of detail in their story. And it doesnโt really sound normal because no one really talks with that much detail. We donโt care about โaisle 27.โ We donโt care what time it was. Most people donโt remember specific instances unless theyโre establishing an alibi or unless theyโre telling a lie and trying to make it sound more true than it really is.
A typical, truthful story would have been something like, โI was driving to the supermarket the other day and I saw there was a tree down on the side of the road from the storm last night. I didnโt really think about it. There was a lot of damage. I guess it was a pretty big storm.ย
But anyway, I got to the supermarket and then I had to ask someone where the powdered sugar was because I didnโt know. So, then I got that and also some baking soda. And I suppose that was at about at like 4 oโclock or so.โ Thatโs a more normal story. It was kind of quick told, jumbled up a little bit. It wasnโt necessarily in perfect order. It was more of a narrative.
Memory is imperfect. Remember that. And when people remember stories, and they tell them from memory, they often forget and miss certain little details that they come back to. And then, of course, as we talked about, if you have them tell it backward, theyโll sum it up even shorter and remember it backward and may even be a little bit irritated about it.ย
So, remember, thatโs a great tactic for you to use when youโre trying to determine whether or not someone is telling the truth along with all the other tactics that weโve come up with and all the signs youโre paying attention to.
So, how can you see this? How can you learn to recognize when people are using too much detail and when theyโre using not enough? Or when a lying statement is actually lying with the amount of detail that they use. We will talk all about this, coming up. Right after this.
How about having a handy guide filled with quick tips to detect deception? Now you can. Deception Tips is an e-book with 101 cues to detecting deception. Grab your copy today at spencercoffman.com or any major retailer.
Liars often add way too much detail to their stories when they are trying to tell a story to establish their innocence, their whereabouts, some form of alibi, whatever. They tend to use a lot of specifics and they will often refer to times, places, and people that they were with.ย
But it depends also on the type of lie because sometimes they may not include any people because theyโll be worried that youโre going to check and theyโll ask those people. Or if they have people that are covering for them, then theyโll include those people only.
Usually, when someone truthful tells a story, it is a random assortment of data due to the imperfection of our memory. We donโt remember things exactly as they happened. You can test this out yourself. Get an object. Anything. Say a brown chair.ย
This is my favorite thing to do when looking at memory and how people tell stories. And you can do this with anything. Take any object. Have five people look at it. Then have those five people on a piece of paper to describe that object. You will get five different descriptions of that object.
In addition, remember that game called โTelephoneโ where you sit in a circle and someone starts out with a phrase, and by the time it gets to the end, itโs usually drastically different because of the interpretation that goes around the circle? People really donโt have it put together properly. Memory is imperfect.
So, when youโre telling a story, or someone is telling something that happened, theyโre going to tell it in an imperfect way. Itโs not going to be exactly as the events unfolded. The detail is going to be missing. Some events are going to be missing.ย
In some instances, people- theyโre not going to remember all of those things. Like, what it sounded like, what it smelled like, what they thought about. Those are things that you have to prod and probe for.
And, oftentimes, they have to shut their eyes or sometimes they even put them in a hypnosis type doctor who gets them to relax and think about it and kind of travel back there and, โOk. Now tell me what youโre seeing. Tell me what youโre smelling. Tell me what it looks like. What does it feel like? What are the sounds there? How is the air? Is it wet? Is it dry?โ They kind of walk them through all of this stuff to help them bring back their memory.
Whereas a liar, they have all that in their story. They talk about, โWell when I was walking I felt the leaves crunching under my feet. And this, and thisโฆโ and they bring out all these details. And so, when someone is telling you a story, and the details are so vibrant and so rich that it sounds like a novel like youโre reading a book, then you know, itโs probably fiction.ย
Why? Well, because in books the authors, especially fiction authors, do a good job of painting a picture. They want you to be able to see everything in your mind. They are probing your imagination.
So, oftentimes, in a fiction book, they say, โThe trees looked like they were quaking in the wind. I saw the soft petals of the flowers swaying with the breeze. I felt the cold air kiss my faceโฆโ and on and on.ย
They use a lot of adjectives and adverbs and a lot of descriptions to get you to live and feel that. They want you to believe that you are right there in the story. And so, when someone is lying, they often use these details as well unconsciously because they think it adds credibility and truth to their story.
They want you to believe them. They want you to feel like you are there in their story and that youโll accept it. It makes sense because, if Iโm telling you a story and I use a lot of detail and I get your imagination going, now you start believing my lie because you start getting invested.ย
You start to reason in your brain, in your imagination, how it could actually be a possibility. How it could actually happen. You see it and you start to live that fantasy. Whereas when someone tells the truth, those details are not present, yet itโs accepted more in a natural conversation because you know in your unconscious that thatโs how people talk.
When people tell stories, oftentimes, a lot of things are missing. Itโs just tough to understand them. So, when youโre asking- like in an interrogation, for example- the person runs by their scenario. โYeah. Yesterday, I walked to the park. On the way, my dog got into a fight with another dog and thatโs how he got bit on the ear.โย
Well, what about all the other things? What was the weather like? What time did you go to the park? How did the air smell? Was there blood from the fight that the dog got bit? Did they fight for a long time? What kind of dog do you have? What kind of dog does the other person have? Who was walking the other dog? Was it loose? Was it on a leash? All of these details are missing from that story. Yet, that could be a truthful story. It probably is. Thatโs how a truthful story would sound.
However, if someone said, โYeah. Yesterday, at about 3 oโclock I walked down to the park with my dog Fido and heโs a spring terrier. And we were walking and we went past the garbage cans, and then the bench, and there was a lady sitting with her dog and she had a pit bull. And its name was Doberman.ย
It was kind of a funny scenario and that dog started growling at mine, and then mine barked. And, then that one bit my dog in the ear. And there was some blood and it was bleeding but thereโs really not a lot of blood in the ear, so it was kind of weird, so now it just looks like heโs got a pierced ear.โ That story has way too much detail for it to be true. It was kind of something that you have to concoct and think of.
And, oftentimes, youโll see this with kids. When kids tell stories and kids tell lies, they use a lot of details. And, itโs funny because kids are so suggestive and impressionable. Theyโre like little sponges.ย
So, when theyโre telling a lie or a story, oftentimes- this works super well- you can suggest details to them and theyโll agree with it. โOh yeah! And what happened? Was the dogโs collar did he have a blue collar?โ โYeah. He had a blue collar.โ โOh cool! Was it a green leash?โ โYeah. The leash was green.โ You can give them these details and theyโll continue to add them to their story and the story will grow, and grow, and grow. We call those โfish tales.โ They get really long.
And, that is similar to certain tips that weโve talked about before. Like episode 11 when we talked about accepting lies. Oftentimes, theyโll accept those lies and put them in as part of their story.ย
Liars like to use those things to help build because they think that you are believing their lie. When you start suggesting details they start thinking that you are believing their lie and theyโll continue to run with it as far as they can.
So, remember that liars often use way too much detail. And, as a method of helping you to determine whether or not they are using too much detail and itโs a lie, or whether itโs just an anal-retentive person that likes a lot of detail or an OCD person who likes a lot of detail, is use some other methods to suggest other tactics. Suggest certain details to them. In addition, keep an eye out for other signs of deception and other patterns/clusters, etcetera.
I want to thank you for listening to this weekโs episode of the Deception Tips Podcast. I encourage you to share it with your friends, subscribe to the feed, follow the Deception Tips Blog, and take a look at the books I have available. And, as always, tune in next week for a new Deception Tip.
Video Transcript
Hey, guys, my name is Spencer Coffman. Thank you for watching theย Deception Tips videos. Theyโre all about teaching you how to read people and detect deception so that you will be able to tell if someone is lying to you.
Today we are going to talk about a really neat thing about deception, and itโs about liars and how they tell their stories, what they use. Usually, when someone is lying, they tend to use a lot more detail, because they think that this detail will be more believable. Theyโve rehearsed their story. So this would be typically for rehearsed lies and planned stories, which as weโve talked about before, is more narratives and linear stories, so if you remember we had another tip about that, you could get them to tell it backward and often times they would be unable to do so because they rehearsed it in order.
So typically, as a part of this rehearsal, something that could kind of give you an idea that what theyโre telling you is rehearsed, as if theyโve added a lot of detail. And now, a lot of detail meaning specific things, like at whatever time, if they say, well, most people would talk about just a general time. If they have a specific time, or if they have specific things, or exactly what someone was wearing or exactly what someone did, those types of things are not normal for people to recall naturally, and usually, that could indicate part of deception.
So here it is, this is deception tip 17, Liars add lots of detail to their stories and can be overly specific. Whereas truth tellers use more general estimates and statements.
They are usually very, very detailed. Liars love to inject all this detail because as theyโre planning out their story, and as theyโre rehearsing it, They say, โokay, well, I need to make sure that theyโre going to believe me.โ That is their number one goal. A liar wants to be believed. And they want to get the story out.
This is an incredible amount of stress and tension inside their body. Itโs like boiling up. Theyโre a tea kettle waiting to blow. And, or a balloon thatโs overfilled with air, and they just need someone to pop it. When that happens, they want the story to be out. So they want this to be as believable as possible, so hopefully, they only have to tell it once. Because a lot of times liars, if theyโre asked to tell the same story over and over again, they canโt remember it. So thatโs another way to trip them up.
You can just call him back in a day later and ask him to tell the story again, and usually if, if there is a truth, then usually people kind of forget certain things, or they may tell it in a different order, but if itโs a liar, and itโs reversed, it might be the exact same story. Which could be a little bit off, and weโll come to that another time. However, they inject a lot of detail.
So normally like, if I would tell you a story, and say, โwell yeah, yesterday I took a drive down to the grocery store and I went down the aisle, and I had to ask this guy, he was kind of a teenage kid, and asked him where the mayonnaise was, and he didnโt really know, so we had to go find another guy who had worked at the store for 10 years, and he knew right where was. Exactly where, in what aisle, and also on what shelf, and even wanted to know what brand I wanted, because then he would know on which shelf that brand would be.โ
And so, that is kind of just a general story. However, if it was a lie, then it could say, โwell, I got in my car at 4:05 and I drove to the grocery store. That maybe took me about 4 minutes. When I got in there, I asked this kid, he was wearing a red shirt and khaki pants, and I wanted to know where the mayonnaise was, and he didnโt know where the mayonnaise was, so he said we had to go find this guy named Bruce, who had been working at the store for 10 years and 3 months.โ
And you get the idea, thereโs a lot more detail in that story, and it just kind of sounds weird. Like, who cares about what time it was, and who cares what the guyโs name was? I just want the general idea of the story, I donโt need every single detail.
So when liars rehearse their stories, oftentimes they add in all of those details because they think itโs more believable. They think that they are, by telling everything, they believe that the target is going to say, โwow, theyโre really opening up to me. Theyโre really sharing all the information. So why would I doubt them, because they told me all this information?โ
But in reality, thatโs not the case, because theyโre over-emphasizing this fact. Itโs kind of like when they split contractions and say, โI did notโ. Theyโre over-emphasizing the events. So by including all of that detail, theyโre adding extra emphasis that doesnโt need to be there, and that is not normally there when people tell a story. So truthful people will be more general, they will have more general stories.
In addition, they often will forget certain things, and say, โoh, well wait a minute, actually before we went and asked the other guy, we tried to find it in a different aisle, but he didnโt find it, so then we had to go ask another guy.โ That would be more truthful. They, they come back to things as they remember them in the story. Whereas liars, itโs like the ABCโs. Everything is planned out, rehearsed, itโs a narrative order, itโs one thing, then the next, itโs a natural progression.
Now, of course, a liar could see this and then manipulate their story to purposefully come back and add something in that they wanted to forget, to try to come more truthful, but typically, then theyโre going to have all kinds of behavioral leakage that goes with that, so youโre gonna catch it anyway. So keep in mind, watch for that. Lateral narratives with lots of detail could be a sign of deception. In addition, there are a lot more signs that you can watch for and pay attention to.
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Until next time.