Deception Tip 68:
Overly stressed liars may inhale regularly and then force their exhale, as if the lungs are being forcibly contracted.
Hello and welcome to the Deception Tips podcast where you will learn amazing cues to detect deceit that will help you read people like never before. I’m your host Spencer Coffman, let’s get started.
Welcome to Deception Tip episode number 68, we are on a mission to teach you how to read people and detect deception so that you will be able to spot liars and not have the wool pulled over your eyes.
That is excellent, it is a great thing to know exactly what every body is really saying. Every body means every body like their body language, you are going to know exactly what every body is really saying.
Last time, we talked about a sign of deception that was on the face, it was about the jaw trembling, and liars, they may be afraid of telling lies. They may be afraid of being caught, they may be afraid of you name it, they could be afraid of the consequences, there are a number of things that they could be afraid of, so their jaw may tremble.
Now, it doesn’t just tremble all the time, it only trembles when they are challenged or when they’re pushed. If it’s trembling all the time then there may be something else going on that you’re going to want to take a look at but in this instance, it will tremble when they’re being challenged. In addition, you need to watch for the clusters and the patterns of behaviors that go along with that.
Things like other stress or tension-relieving behaviors or pacification gestures to help them feel more comfortable there. Things like bouncing the legs or massaging the hands, massaging the neck, are things that are done to help bring a sense of home into that new environment.
If you haven’t listened to that episode then I encourage you to go back and do so, you could also check out the deception tip video related to that or you could take a look at the blog.
You could also look at it in the Deception Tips eBook Revised and Expanded to get another little description of it there. So, you have a lot of different ways to learn about it, a lot of different methods.
I hope you take advantage of all of them, they are free or very inexpensive. We’re talking maybe 20 bucks for every single thing out there and that’s really just the two books that you’d have to pay for.
Otherwise, everything else is provided to you for free, so you can learn, and I hope that you learn, and I hope that you share it with other people because it’s free. If you’re still listening, there’s no reason that other people wouldn’t want to be listening as well.
So, today we are tackling a new deception tip, this one is back to the breathing patterns. We’ve talked a lot lately about different breathing patterns because basically when people lie, they are generally breathing, that’s when they lie verbally. Anytime they’re speaking they’re breathing, why? Well, because it takes a breath to speak.
So, we’ve talked about it a few times back in episode 54, we spoke of breathing rapidly, how liars will take a series of shallow breaths then a long deep breath afterward. We also spoke of it in episode 66 where liars may take a long, deep breath to pacify themselves. This is when they are breathing regularly before that, so it’s regular breathing and then a long, deep breath.
The other one in deception tip 54 was rapid breathing and then a long deep breath. We’ve also had a few different things like in 46, there were the pursed lips which is a long, slow exhale through the pursed lips, so we’ve had that. The chimpanzee lips also had an element of breathing that was in episode 63, so we’ve talked a lot about breathing.
I encourage you to go back and check out those episodes or watch the short videos on them so you get a little idea of what they were and how they might play into this.
In addition, pay attention to your own body language so that you can see when those behaviors may be happening on your body and what you may be going through when they’re being exhibited so that you can start to understand what other people may be going through when they exhibit those behaviors.
Anyway, here it is, deception tip number 68. Overly stressed liars may inhale regularly and then force their exhale as if the lungs are being forcibly contracted. Here it is again, deception tip 68. Overly stressed liars may inhale regularly and then force their exhale as if the lungs are being forcibly contracted. So, there are quite a few large words in there, there are more than five or ten cent words here.
They’re above the fifth-grade level or the third-grade level depending on what area and what statistic you read that most people are only able to understand. That’s a sad fact of America these days, hopefully, we will be improving that. Anyway, when they’re overly stressed, so this goes hand-in-hand with what we talked about last week when liars’ jaws tremble, that’s when they’re overly stressed.
They’re being pushed to the limit, they’re starting to become a little bit overwhelmed, it’s too much, it’s too much for them to handle and they just need a release.
So, in the other one, their jaw may start trembling, they may even start crying, they’re going to break down, it’s just too much. This one, when they’re overly stressed their breathing is going to be regular, so they have regular breathing and then all of a sudden, a forced exhale.
It’s like if you’ve ever fallen down or like when you’re a kid and you’re riding your bike along, you’re thinking you got this, it’s great. Maybe you’re in the grassy field and it’s all bumpy, you’re just learning how to ride on two wheels and all of a sudden, something happens.
You twist the steering wheel or the handlebars and boom then there you go, you’re toppled over, you land on your back and all that air comes out and it hurts, and you have the wind knocked out of you.
That is a feeling that most people in their lives experience a few times and they don’t forget it, it’s a hard landing, the wind is just pushed right out of their bodies.
So, this is the type of exhale we’re talking about, obviously not with that force and that pain and level involved, but it is more of when all of a sudden, the air is coming out. It’s like when you’re given a bear hug or it’s a quick hug and your breath just leaves your body.
It’s something like that, as if the lungs are being forcibly contracted, so that means it’s as if there’s something all of a sudden inside of them that squeezes their lungs to get smaller so that the breath leaves them, that kind of thing.
It’s overly stressed, so when they’re very stressed and they can’t take it anymore and maybe the lungs will just forcibly contract, their breath leaves and then they have almost like a little bit of a mini panic attack.
If you ever have panic attacks or you’ve ever had one, your breathing changes immensely when you’re about to have that panic attack, when it’s coming on, and then during.
During it’s almost like the hyperventilating, the lights go out, all these things happen and it’s just an immense fear for a lot of people when they have them. This is the precursor, the beginning of a panic attack when the breath leaves their lungs.
They don’t know what’s going on, they start to breathe rapidly, they hyperventilate, and things happen from there. So, you may see a panic attack, follow this behavior because it could trigger one.
In addition, regular breathing may follow it and it might be fine, maybe this is just one little mishap but that’s why you have to look for the patterns and the clusters of behavior that go with this and we’re going to talk all about them coming up right after this.
Spencer Coffman has been studying body language since 2010, he’s certified at the expert level in subtle expression and micro expression training. Download his books on spencercoffman.com.
Welcome back to deception tips 68 where we are talking about forcing an exhale. This is when liars may be overly stressed like when they’re being challenged or pushed, they’re starting to get overwhelmed. All of a sudden, the regular breathing stops and turns into a quick exhale almost like they got the wind knocked out of them or sucked out of them.
Then something follows, whether it’s regular breathing once again, whether it’s the start of a panic attack or hyperventilating or something else that begins to go on, something is going to follow. This is the trigger, this is stress being expended from the body and then the recovery takes place and they need to calm down again.
It’s almost like they’re about to lose it for a minute and then they’re going to have to gain their composure. Usually, through the help of others or through the help of some kind of a grounding or repetitive behavior that’s going to follow. So, as I said, you need to be looking for patterns and clusters of behavior.
What do these patterns and clusters look like? Well, it could be a variety of things, so when they’re doing this they’re breathing normally, regular breathing just like you and me, they’re telling their lie and you question it. If you don’t see the jaw tremble, then you may see that breath leave their body.
It’s almost a fear response except instead of inhaling like when you’re surprised or scared or you get startled or someone slams the door, drops a book, or whatever the case may be.
You take that quick inhale, that sharp inhale and your eyes light up and everything happens, and you get startled, you jump. This is the opposite, you’re anti-jumping, you’re shrinking, the breath is leaving your body quickly then something follows because obviously, you need to get the air back in your body. So, sometimes people may start hyperventilating after this, in and out, in and out, in and out rapidly and you may need to calm them down.
Other times other things may follow, they might breathe normally and then that stress-relieving happens in a different fashion, so their legs may start to bounce up and down like crazy. Hyperventilating is really just a means of relieving the stress, it is something that the body does to help release that stress and tension. When it starts to get pent up and build up in us, we need to expel it somehow.
Whether it’s punching a bag of running a marathon or jumping up and down like a crazy person, somehow it needs to get released. So, when it’s too much and all of a sudden that breath goes out, then you need to start hyperventilating because that is a quick, anxious behavior to release that stress and tension. It’s like you’re wired on coffee, something needs to happen to release that from your body.
There’s a machine out there that some people use who have trouble, like if they have pneumonia or something or if they’re smokers and they have a lot of phlegm and they need to get it out.
It’s a machine, it’s called a cough assist and what it does is it forces air in your lungs and then gets you to cough it up. Why? Because there’s too much going on.
It’s almost like it stresses your lungs and all of a sudden, you’re coughing like a crazy man, it’s just a really surreal experience. If you have the opportunity to try one it’s kind of neat, but you probably only try it once unless you end up needing the machine then you know exactly what I’m talking about, how it really is a strange deal.
Anyway, that’s the thing we’re talking about here is the body is getting some kind of a reaction and then it just takes over. It’s like a panic attack, you can’t stop it right away or a seizure, how it needs to be gone through, it’s going to run its course. Your body has just had enough, it needs to do a reset, it does then things are back to normal, hopefully, they’re back to normal.
Watch out for this sharp exhale and then a change afterward, there’s going to be a pattern or a cluster. So, if you just see this exhale, someone is breathing then all of a sudden, they do this exhale, and then that’s it, things are normal, you don’t notice anything else then it probably doesn’t mean anything. In fact, it really doesn’t mean anything, it could even mean that they’re faking something or that it’s malicious.
You need to watch for the pattern and the cluster of behaviors that come with that, other stress-relieving behaviors, this is exactly like the jaw tremble, it’s a trigger, it happens when they’re being challenged. So, look for those comfort gestures that help them feel at home, security gestures, blankets of security, things like maybe they’re crossing their legs, they’re cuddling up, folding their arms, shrinking their body.
All of those we’ve talked about in numerous tips before, I hope that you remember those discussions. If not, go back and review them, I’m not going to tell you where they are because the act of you sifting through and reviewing them is going to be much more helpful than if I just give you a tip number.
A quick and easy way to do this would be just to go to iTunes or somewhere and you can just scroll through all of the titles and find it, or you can sift through the deception tips blog. If you have the book you can fan through the book that kind of thing but take the time to go out there and find them, review them, and just get a little quick idea of what they are.
You could also go to YouTube and scroll through the video titles, that would be a good way as well but do that, always keep reviewing these things. You should be doing this daily, weekly, you don’t have to be listening to an episode all the time, you can listen to them on double speed as a review.
It’s half the time it takes if you’re pressed for time, but most people are driving for seven minutes at a time, so you could listen to it on double speed and get it in right there.
It’s just the effort of doing so, that’s the hardest part of anything is actually working up the esteem to go do it, but you have that and that’s why you’re continuing to listen, and I thank you for that.
So, I want to thank you for listening to the Deception Tips podcast. I really do hope that you’ll share it with your friends, subscribe to the feed, check out the deception tips videos, the blog, and take a look at the books I have available and as always, tune in next week for a new deception tip.
Hey guys, my name is Spencer Coffman, thank you for watching the deception tips videos, they’re all about teaching you how to read people and detect deception so that you will be able to tell if someone is lying to you. Today, we’re talking about a tip that is related to breathing. A lot of things in deception are related to breathing obviously, that’s kind of a doh factor because, in order to talk you need to breathe, I know.
No, this is more specifically related to the breathing aspect of it, whether it’s a deep breath or a pacification gesture or a stress-relieving breath like they inhale and exhale to calm themselves. This is a strictly breathing gesture that you will notice because it is something that is very stark and apparent, it’s almost like a shock when you hear it.
It’s forced breathing like they’re getting the wind knocked out of them something like that, it’s huge and it’s happening there. So, it’s hard not to notice and when you notice it, there are only a couple causes, one of which is deception, so you can easily have that ping up your antennas to look for other signs to find that pattern in that cluster of behaviors.
So, here it is, this is deception tip number 68. Overly stressed liars may inhale regularly and then force their exhale as if the lungs are being forcibly contracted. So, there are a couple of points to mention here, overly stressed liars, this is when they are on the tipping point, they’re on the edge, this is a big fight or flight.
Remember there’s that conflict, the unconscious, it wants the truth, the conscious, it wants the lie, so this is a huge conflict, that head-to-head battle, in addition, they’re very stressed, they’re at the tipping point. When people are stressed, a lot of things happen to the body, the body starts to shut down internal processes such as digestion and saliva production.
It starts to send blood and resources internally to the extremities of the body, to the hands, to the legs, etc. From the core out, everything is out here, why? It is because of the fight or the flight, they may need to fight someone, or they got to run away. So, whichever happens, it’s happening because that stress is pushing all of that energy to the limbs in the body, to fight or flight.
So, they are on the tipping point here, overly stressed liars then they may be breathing normally all of a sudden though, they’re really stressed, they’re at the tipping point, boom, their lungs are forcibly contracted. Why does this happen? Why would it be forcibly contracted? Again, as I said, it’s almost like the wind is getting knocked out of them.
If you’ve ever had that happen to you, it’s an unpleasant feeling, maybe you fell down, boom, you landed, and you just felt that, and the air just left your body. Or someone said, “Hey, how are you doing?” Whack, right on your back and it knocked the wind out of you. That happens and you know that it’s not something you like to go through all the time.
When this happens when someone is lying, it’s a strange phenomenon, they’re overly stressed, it’s the fight-or-flight. Something’s kicking in, they’re breathing normally and all of a sudden, they’ve realized that something has to happen. So, essentially their body does it, it forcibly contracts, pushing this air out of their body so that now they can take that deep breath and gear up to fight or to run away or whatever is happening.
Obviously, in this instance, they may not be running away, or they may not be fighting but psychologically, with the stress and the tension in this lie, that’s what they feel like. So, their mind is telling their body that this is what has to happen. Even if they’re sitting across the table from someone, boom it happens, they’re not going to get up and run or they’re not going to get up and fight but their mind has that power over the body to push that and that’s what it’s feeling.
That’s what’s going on, it’s something that, again, you’re going to notice, and if nothing happened, if they didn’t fall, no one hit them, nothing like that then there’s really no other reason for them to have the wind sucked out of them. So, pay attention to that, what are they getting ready to do?
Maybe they’re getting ready to attack you, you don’t know, well you’re going to find out but pay attention to that. Be prepared for certain things that could happen and then watch for other signs, other patterns and other clusters that will form into that deceptive behavior pattern.
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Until next time.