Deception Tip 94:
Pathological liars may not display any leakage because they are so accustomed to lying. What’s more is that their truths may show more leakage than a lie.
Hello and welcome to the Deception Tips podcast where you will learn amazing cues to detect deceit that will help you read people like never before. I’m your host Spencer Coffman, let’s get started.
Hello and welcome to episode 94 of the Deception Tips podcast. Last week, we talked about how memories are created with the senses. Therefore, when you are speaking with someone and you’re trying to get the truth out of them, you’re questioning them and you’re pretty sure that they’re lying, you can use specific questions directed toward the unconscious mind to get more truthful responses.
Why is this true? Well, it is because the unconscious is always truthful. It is the conscious that is deceptive and is self-serving and trying to get away with things. When you ask the unconscious, you’re going to get a truthful response. So, use questions that are directed toward the senses, taste, touch, sound, feel, and smell, those types of questions and you will get responses that aren’t fabricated.
However, if someone has thought about this and they are really creating a lie, they may give you lies for answers. Chances are though, they haven’t rehearsed those, so you’ll be able to tell whether they are spontaneous lies and less prepared if it is really a truthful response or they may give you a truthful response that is from something else.
You’ll see that it doesn’t apply to their current lie or their current story, you’ll be able to find those contradictions or those holes. Questions like, what did it smell like when you were there? What were the sounds like? What did you hear? How did it feel? What did your skin feel like when you were there? Did the hair on the back of your neck stand up?
Questions that are directed towards different sensations and feelings about their environment when they were in that specific situation. You can use your experience in life and in general to determine whether or not that is how you would have felt in that situation and then reason that humans are pretty much the same.
If one human is in a certain situation, chances are another human will feel a similar emotion or a similar way. There are exceptions, of course, but if someone is somewhere and it’s scary and they feel scared, then generally, someone else who’s there is going to feel scared as well.
If they hear leaves crunching under their feet while walking through the park on a fall day, chances are another person is going to hear leaves crunching under their feet, while walking through the park on a fall day.
So, use that, use the experience to determine whether or not their stories and their sensations are the truth and whether or not they match what would really be there. That’s what we talked about last week.
Today, we are going to talk about a situation that is a little bit unusual, this one is very unusual actually because it involves a very small minority of people out there. I don’t know the percentage but I would say it’s like 10% of people, probably a lot less. However, there could be more and it depends upon the real statistic or the real analytics and certifications and diagnostics that are out there.
If you were to say, in general, how many people have these tendencies or are like this, it’s probably 10 to 20%. We’re talking about pathological liars, the people who lie all the time. Tendencies and traits are a lot more, actual disorders or diagnostics are a lot less, maybe 5% to 10%. These people out there are people who tell lies naturally, it is who they are, it’s bred into them.
They’ve become so accustomed and used to lying that it doesn’t even phase them. Their unconscious and conscious don’t even battle anymore, it’s almost like their unconscious is used to lying or wants to tell these lies. It’s like it’s flipped, the lies have encompassed their whole being and they believe these lies as truth.
These people are very smooth and usually, the people who are famous pathological liars are the ones that you know of that are criminals. Ted Bundy, for example, famous serial killer, and pathological liar that was able to get anybody to come and follow him. A lot of cult leaders could have been pathological liars.
A lot of people say Hitler had to be a pathological liar just because he was able to tell a lie long and hard and get a bunch of people to believe it. It’s up to your own opinions and circumstances and whether you think someone is or is not but there is a psychological disorder for pathological lying.
Whether or not someone fits that criteria, you can look it up in the DSM or the diagnostic and statistical manual if you really want. Enough about all of that, let’s get to the heart of the matter and the reason for this podcast.
So, here it is, this is Deception Tip number 94. Pathological liars may not display any leakage because they are so accustomed to lying. What’s more, is that their truths may show more leakage than a lie. Here it is again, Deception Tip number 94. Pathological liars may not display any leakage because they are so accustomed to lying. What’s more, is that their truths may show more leakage than a lie.
So, this is an indifferent situation. When someone is a pathological liar, as I said, they are used to lying, lying is in their nature. When someone asks them a question, they respond and if it’s a lie or it’s not a lie, it’s the same response, it doesn’t matter.
They have no physiological change, they have no remorse, and they may have some remorse in some circumstances or bigger stuff but generally, they think nothing of it.
They don’t think twice, they are lying and it’s no big deal, they respond to things. If it’s a lie, if it’s the truth, they don’t even think again about it, their conscience isn’t there in the lying. It’s almost like people who are serial killers, they are psychopaths or sociopaths, they don’t have any remorse when killing, they don’t feel any emotion like that.
This is a different level, they don’t have any remorse when lying, they don’t feel any emotion with that, they don’t have that there for when they lie, it’s no big deal.
They don’t have anything second-guessing them, they don’t show those signs of leakage because they don’t inherently believe that lying is wrong, it’s simply part of their nature, it’s who they are.
Maybe later on they could be taught that it’s wrong or maybe they would change or understand, that’s why it’s a psychological disorder that can be treated. What’s more, is that their truths may show more leakage than a lie, this is because they aren’t used to telling the truth. Therefore, when they tell the truth it’s uncomfortable, so that battle will go on.
Normal quote, unquote people are used to telling the truth, they’re uncomfortable telling a lie, therefore, they show leakage. These people are used to telling lies, they’re uncomfortable telling a truth, so they may show leakage, not always but sometimes. We’re going to dive a lot more into that little scenario and explain it and expand upon it coming up right after this.
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Welcome back to Deception Tip episode number 94 where we are talking about pathological liars and how they are used to telling lies, they are liars. That is what they are, that is who they are, they love telling lies and they do it in normal conversation. It’s just a part of who they are, they don’t even think about it, it’s one lie after another, no big deal.
There’s no remorse, their conscience isn’t prodding them or weighing down on them for lying and they don’t really show any signs of leakage when they tell a lie. They may still have micro-expression leakage but they’re not going to be showing all of these contradictory behaviors.
The unconscious isn’t going to be pushing for the truth because even though the unconscious is always truthful, this is the exception to the rule. These people are very few, far between but they do not display the typical signs of leakage that everyone else displays.
Therefore, if you’re starting to get worried, like, oh great, now I’ve learned all these tips, thanks a lot, we’re 94 episodes in. I’ve been studying, I’ve been reading your books, I’ve been watching your videos and the blogs, and now you’re telling me that it doesn’t even apply to people.
Well, no, it still applies to people, it applies to pretty much everybody out there. I’m simply letting you know that there are certain people who are pathological liars that will not display the same tendencies as everybody else. It’s fairly easy to spot these people because you’ll know, it’s just one lie after another, it’s coming out, they’re usually very slick or sly.
They’re like a con artist so you’ll know them when you see them. Don’t worry about not being able to spot their lies or spot deceit in anybody else because these guys are rare, they’re few and far between.
What’s interesting though, is that since they don’t have that battle between the conscious and the unconscious when they’re telling a lie, they may display leakage when they are telling a truth.
This isn’t going to be in normal little truths, it’s going to be in something big, something that they really don’t know if they should say or don’t know if they should tell someone because they’re so used to lying. So, now they’re going to tell a truth and they may display this leakage because it’s not normal for them.
They’re stressed about it, it’s uncomfortable, they don’t normally say stuff like this, this is a little bit uncomfortable for them. They may be a little stressed or tense about it, their body may display leakage because there is a battle going on internally about whether or not they should do this.
It’s the same thing when someone who’s quote, unquote, normal is telling a lie because when they’re telling a lie, there’s something inside of them that they don’t know if they should do this.
So, there’s that battle going on, there’s that tension inside of them. Well, when someone who is a pathological liar is telling a truth that they’re not used to, there is a battle going on inside of them, it’s not normal for them to do that.
Therefore, there is that stress and tension, so you may see signs of leakage when these people are telling the truth. Does that mean they’re lying? No. How do you know if it’s the truth versus a lie?
Again, chances are you’ve been speaking to them for a little bit, so you will see that, wow, a lot of stuff they’re saying doesn’t really make sense or that was a weird thing to lie about or why are they lying so much?
All of a sudden, they say something else and you’re like, whoa, look at that sign of leakage, what’s going on? You’ll say, was that true and you can keep talking with them and through other patterns of behavior and through a baseline behavior and through finding different signs of body language and maybe some leakage or deception.
You’ll be able to tell whether or not that one sign was in fact truth or a lie. The reason you’ll be able to tell is just that they’re a pathological liar doesn’t mean that they don’t display any signs of emotion or body language. No, they simply don’t when they lie.
If you were talking to a psychopath or sociopath, like psychopathic or sociopathic individuals, same meaning just different terms over the decades, those individuals are not going to feel that emotion or they may not express that emotion. So, if you’re talking to them, that’s a whole different ballpark, you probably need to study some psychology on that.
If you’re talking simply to someone who is a pathological liar, they simply don’t display information when they are lying but they still display other signs and body language and emotion.
You’ll be able to get a read and a feel for them in other conversations and then when you see stuff when they’re telling a story or lying, you can weed out, okay, well that was leakage, is it a truth or a lie?
Well, they seem to be lying a lot, so that could have been a truth. Okay, let’s get more into that, why are they telling the truth and if they start getting more and more uncomfortable, now you might be on to something. You might be finding what you’re looking for, you might finally be getting the truth out of this person.
They may be very uncomfortable and try to change the subject or get away from you but if it’s a truth you really want then you may want to continue down that road. Either way, these individuals are few and far between, you probably know someone in your life that may be a pathological liar or has been deemed a crook or a con artist.
He’s someone that speaks out of both sides of his mouth or feeds you misinformation or says he’s going to do stuff and doesn’t do it or follow it. Those types of people are usually very scattered, they’re very spread thin, they commit to tons of stuff and never follow through.
So, watch out for them, steer clear of them just because it’s better for your health. You can try to help them if you want but whether or not they accept your help will be up to them and not under your control completely. Either way, watch out for them, pay attention and steer clear if you can.
I want to thank you for listening to this week’s episode of the Deception Tips podcast. I hope that you’ll share it with your friends, subscribe to the feed, take a look at the Deception Tips videos, the blog, and the books that I have available, and, as always, tune in next week for a new deception tip.
Hey guys, my name is Spencer Coffman, thank you for watching the Deception Tips videos. They’re all about teaching you how to read people and detect deception so that you will be able to tell if someone is lying to you. Today, we are going to talk about an outlier or an anomaly in the deception detection world. This is a type of person that you will no doubt encounter some time throughout your life.
Maybe multiple times, multiple different people because this is a personality, it is a personality abnormality or disorder depending on how far it goes. Of course, with someone who is abnormal, the whole normality of rules that we’ve been talking about, all of these deception tips, they may not apply, so you have to be on the lookout for this type of outlier.
So, here it is, this is Deception Tip number 94. Pathological liars may not display any leakage because they are so accustomed to lying. What’s more is that their truths may show more leakage than a lie. So, there are a couple of parts here, first off, pathological liars, these are people who lie naturally, they are just natural-born liars.
No one ever taught them that lying was wrong, so instead of working to stop that behavior, they worked to continue that behavior. They became a phenomenal liar and everything they say is just false, they’re continually lying, continually telling things that aren’t true. Who knows why, they may not even know why, but the point is that they are doing it.
Because they lie so often, they’re comfortable lying, they are simply used to it, they love to lie, they don’t know anything else, it’s simply like conversation, it’s like breathing for them. So, when they tell these lies, because they’re so comfortable with it, they aren’t stressed, they’re not tense, they don’t have any anxiety about it, they’re not afraid of being caught because they lie all the time.
They may not display signs of leakage because there’s no battle, the conscious and the unconscious aren’t fighting over that lie. The unconscious is now so used to lying all the time that it thinks it’s normal. As I said, they’re abnormal, they’re not normal with everything else, they may even be sick, it could be a disorder. The point is that if their unconscious thinks that lies are normal, now there’s something wrong, so like I said, they’re not going to display this leakage.
However, what’s really weird is that if there’s a situation where they are telling the truth about something and it’s something heavy, they may display leakage when telling the truth. Why? It is because they’re not used to doing it. If they’re used to lying all the time and their unconscious is used to these lies like it’s just breathing and all of a sudden, they’re telling the truth, the truth is something that is a little uneasy.
Remember the truth hurts, so now they’ve got this feeling, they don’t know what it is, it’s stress, it’s tension when they’re talking. When they’re giving a story, they may start to display some of these signs of nervousness, tension, stress. You need to pay attention to this and watch because it may not be because they’re lying, it might be the truth coming out.
This is why it is so very, very, very important to get a good baseline. A baseline is how are they when they’re speaking normally, get some control questions, what’s their name, age, date of birth, etc. Establish a normal conversation then how do they react when certain stressful stimuli come into play. Are they tense, are they stressed, are they naturally speaking about it?
That baseline is going to be your friend and watch out for the patterns and the clusters of behavior that go along with it. If their baseline is pretty normal, there’s nothing then all of a sudden, you see something, okay, was this a truth or was it a lie? If they’re a pathological liar, it may be a truth, so just keep that in mind. You need to determine whether or not they’re a pathological liar, the only way you can is by being lied to by them and you’ll just have to know over time.
Again, they’re outliers, it’s not super common that you’ll run into them, so keep in mind that when you’re speaking with people, most of them are not pathological liars. However, that selected few, if you can remember a bell curve, there are a couple out here and a couple here, these people are pathological liars, these people may never lie. So, there are a few on each end, most people are in the middle in that big bell, so don’t worry about it but be aware of it.
So, if this is your first time watching these videos, I’d love to have you subscribe to the channel on YouTube. Feel free to comment with any questions you may have as well. Also, if you’d like some more information, we have books, podcasts, blog posts all available on spencercoffman.com that are dedicated to teaching you exactly what every body is really saying.
Until next time.