
Deception Tip 7:
It is essential to look for clusters, or patterns, of behavior when detecting deception. Liars always display more than one sign.
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Podcast Transcript
Hello, and welcome to the Deception Tips Podcast, where you will learn amazing cues to detect deceit that will help you read people like never before. Iโm your host, Spencer Coffman. Letโs get started.
Thanks again for tuning in to the Deception Tips Podcast. Today is Deception Tip #7 and before we get into that letโs talk about what we went over last week on Deception Tip 6.ย
We discussed a sign of deception where when people feel vulnerable or exposed they tend to cover vulnerable and sensitive areas of the body. This is common. Anytime someone tells a lie and they are about to be found out, it is a natural human behavior. Covering up oneself and protecting oneself when they feel like they are being exposed.
The very nature of the word โexposedโ brings this. When youโre exposed, I mean what do you think of if I say โso and so exposed.โ Or you see celebrity headlines all the time. Theyโll say theyโre exposed. Things are uncovered. That means that everything is out there for the world to see.ย
And when you call a liar out and, maybe not call them out, but youโre starting to get onto their lie or pick up on things that arenโt true or youโre pointing out holes in their lie or inconsistencies in their story, they start to feel very exposed.
You may not know that theyโre lying yet. You still may be putting it together, but in their mind, theyโre thinking, โOh no. Heโs onto me. Heโs got me.โ Or โThat personโs found out. Iโm going to get caught.โ They are feeling exposed and when people feel exposed they also feel very vulnerable and a typical human reaction to being exposed and vulnerable is covering up any areas of our body that we donโt want people to see. Now that typically the genital regions or any parts that we like to keep private.
By definition, all these words are pretty much self-explanatory, so thereโs really not a lot to talk about, not a lot to summarize here. But basically, when people feel vulnerable/exposed when their lies are about to be found, they are going to cover any of those vulnerable and sensitive areas on their bodies.ย
Itโs a natural human, natural animalistic, reaction. Animals do the same thing. They tend to cover up. They tend to hide. Humans’ basic mammalian instinct is to cover that and it can be seen, and done, in a variety of ways.
Sometimes people can fold their arms. Theyโll be covering the chest area. Sometimes they can put their hands on their lap covering the groin area. Other times they may have a book or a newspaper. It can be done where people turn a chair backward and sit in it that way or they even stand behind a chair or a couch.ย
They may stand behind a desk. A lot of times, a desk in an interview is a form of vulnerability and protection. Anything that goes between you, the target, the intended target of the lie, and the liar. Anything that goes between those two people that is more than normal, everyday clothing attire, is considered and can be considered, some form of deceptive behavior with covering and feeling vulnerable.
So that is that. Hopefully, you remember more from our podcast last time. If not, go ahead and listen to it. A lot of good information there, as always. And today, we are moving on with Deception Tip 7. We are going to talk about something that weโve been hinting at all along.ย
Itโs something that in all these past episodes, Iโve brought it up almost every time because it is so very, very important when detecting deception. And the reason Iโve waiting until now to talk about it is that you needed to learn and understand some other signs of deception in order to get here because today we are going to talk about behavioral clusters and patterns of behavior.
These are specific groupings of signs of deception that come together and when you see them, you can be certain. There is no question. It is beyond a doubt that this person is lying when these groups happen because, as weโve talked about, when you see one sign, like when we said someone folds their arms, they could be lying but they could also be cold or they could also be covering up something. We donโt know. There could be a number of reasons. Maybe thatโs just how theyโre comfortable sitting.
When someoneโs pupils dilate. When we talked about that. That could happen for any number of reasons. Lighting, chemical induction. We donโt know. They could be lying. All these other things can be happening for a variety of reasons but when you see a cluster, now you know theyโre lying because multiple things have happened.ย
Itโs like when people investigate. A lot of cops and law enforcement, when they investigate something, and itโs just one thing or one piece of evidence. Or attorneys, when they find something, that they can explain that way. Itโs circumstantial. Itโs a coincidence. Whatever the case may be.
However, when there are multiple facts and multiple signs of evidence, they come together and now it starts to look like something. Itโs almost irrefutable. You say, โHey, Iโve got this.โ Oh, but thatโs one thing.ย
I can easily explain that away. Then you come up and say, โHey, but Iโve also got this, this, this, and this.โ Now they start talking about a plea deal because they know theyโve got so much evidence on them, โLook. Weโre not going to win this.โ So with clusters of behavior, you know that there is so much going on that you KNOW theyโre lying.
Itโs an irrefutable fact with a cluster. This is why, as Iโve stated over, and over again, you have to look for clusters and patterns of behavior. Because when you see these patterns, you know. Itโs like a big red light or a neon sign that says โYes! They are lying,โ and you saw it and you can be certain of it because you saw the clusters and the patterns.
Of course, we have only gone over a handful of signs of deception and there are many, many more out there and the signs that weโve gone over, you may not see altogether in a cluster because weโve gone over signs of different areas. Folding the arms is on the body. Dilating the pupil is with the eyes. Contradictory behaviors are with speech and body language. Physical tasks are the body. So I mean youโre going to see a lot of these individually anyway and in terms of clusters, youโre going to see additional signs we havenโt covered yet.
Like folding the arms, backing away. Now folding the arms could be a cluster in and of itself because when someone folds their arms, if theyโre a female, if they fold them higher on the chest, now it could be a sign that we covered last time of covering a sensitive region because they could be covering that sensitive area AND folding their arms. We stated, that typically, women fold their arms a little lower, like on the belly area because of their anatomy. Well, if they fold them higher thatโs two signs. So that could be a cluster of its own.
Add that to, maybe backing away, and now you added another behavior and thatโs a cluster. We havenโt gone over backing away, but now you know thatโs a sign of deception. Thatโs been mentioned before.ย
So these clusters are something that, as you continue listening to these podcasts, youโre going to learn a lot more signs of deception. Weโve got 101 episodes. Thatโs 101 signs of deception. Youโre going to learn a heck of a lot and when you hear all of these, you can start putting them together in clusters and patterns of behavior.
With that, here is the tip of today. Deception Tip #7: It is essential to look for clusters or patterns of behavior when detecting deception. Liars always display more than one sign. Here it is again. It is essential to look for clusters or patterns of behavior when detecting deception. Liars always display more than one sign. Itโs as simple as that. No matter what happens, liars WILL always display more than one sign.
This is because, as weโve stated, the unconscious is super truthful. It canโt stand telling a lie. It has to tell the truth. It has to let the truth be known. It needs to be honest. Whereas the conscious is incredibly deceptive and self-serving. It can be trained to be non-self-serving and more selfless and geared toward other people but inherently, the nature of the human being or animalistic is: SURVIVE.
In order to survive, you need to do things that help you obviously. Then you do things to help others but with the ulterior motive of helping yourself. Why would you help them get food? Well because then Iโll be able to get some of the food too. Thatโs just how it was when you needed to fight to survive. The survival of the fittest.
So when it comes to the unconscious and the conscious, weโre still in that basic instinct. Inherently, when you boil it all down and strain out everything and you get down to the base metal, thatโs what it is. Its survival and inherent characteristics.ย
The unconscious is truthful and the conscious is deceptive. So when the conscious tells a lie, the unconscious is fighting to get the truth out and if you can consciously train yourself to see and notice these behaviors, these clusters, and patterns, then you will be very, very well able to detect deception.
Iโm going to get into some of these clusters and what they may look like, but before that, weโre going to take a break.
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Obviously, as we go through this podcast series, you are going to find out many, many more signs of deception and you are going to be able to put these clusters together on your own and come up with certain behavioral patterns that can form a PERFECT sign of deception. As a group, not just a single sign.ย
Like we said with crossing the arms and backing away, thatโs seen as one behavior. If I fold my arms and take a step back, people donโt really break that down and say, โWell what did he do? He folded his arms. He took a step back.โ Maybe my breathing changed. Maybe I looked towards the exit. So now weโve added all these different behaviors.
Maybe instead of folding my arms, I crossed them in front of my waist and took a step back. Now weโve added another sign in there. In that, I crossed my arms. I put one hand in front of another and put them in front of my waist. Then I took a step back and looked toward the door. My breathing also changed. How much happened there? Typically you would see that as, thatโs just an everyday, normal occurrence.
But if youโre paying attention, weโll break it down. I folded my hands putting one hand on top of another. Covering a hand could be a soothing gesture. Thatโs one. Putting that in front of my groin area. Thatโs two. Taking a step back. Thatโs removing myself. Thatโs three. Looking towards an exit. Thatโs four. My breathing may have changed. That could be five. What happened with my eyes. That could be six. That is six observable signs of deception that could happen right there, that if youโre not paying attention to or youโre not looking at it as deception or potential for deception, you could miss it.
It could seem like normal behavior but if you KNOW what youโre looking for, that’s right there. That simple thing that maybe only took me a second to perform. To put my hands down, take a step back, all that stuff happened in a matter of one, maybe two seconds. But it was six or more signs of deception!ย
This is why it is essential for you to learn these signs and start recognizing them on yourself and then on other people. If you can start noticing it on yourself, youโll be much better able to see it on other people.
Now that doesnโt mean I want you to go out and start lying so you can see if any of these signs start to happen. No. If you learn a sign, stand in front of a mirror and do the sign. Then you can see it on yourself and if, in everyday conversation, you notice yourself putting your body in that position, or doing those things, stop for a minute and think about it.ย
โWhy did I do that? Did I just tell a lie?โ You may not know that you were telling a lie. We talked about that before and how you could be telling a lie but not consciously know youโre telling a lie, but your unconscious knows.
So if you notice any of these signs on yourself, donโt get scared, but instead, think of it as a great opportunity because now you can think about it and do a little introspection and be like โWhy did that happen? Why did I do that? Was I cold? Was I scared? Did something happen? Well, I donโt think I told a lie. Let me see. Did I? What did I remember? What did I say?โ Maybe you saw something that was deception.
This is another curveball because if you observe stuff that may be deceptive or offensive and you donโt agree with it, you think itโs phony or false, you may take on deceptive behavior. Because your unconscious doesnโt agree with what your conscious just saw and interpreted. That is another thing to keep in mind but anytime you do any of these things, think about it. And why did you do it?
Because now, you will be able to understand them so much more, and then when you start to see them on other people youโll be able to think about it with an open mind and say,โ OK, well when I saw it on me, and I thought about it, it couldโve been for any number of reasons.โ And when I see it on them, now if you can put that over there and think that it could be happening to them for any number of reasons.
So this will really help you because now you wonโt really be dead-set and narrow-minded on โIf someone folds their arms, theyโre lying.โ Because thatโs not the case. You need to have an OPEN mind about this and think that there could be a number of possibilities for any of these signs and, if you keep that open mind, then you will recognize clusters and patterns a lot more easily.
Youโll keep that open mind and youโll say, โWell, he folded his arms that doesnโt mean heโs lying he could be cold.โ Boom. Now he took a step back. โOk, well, maybe heโs getting ready to leave.โย
Oh, now he moved his hands in front of his groin area. โOk, thatโs three right there. Now, something must be going on.โ And you can watch for that and notice when people are lying by seeing these clusters and patterns of behavior.
This is why it is essential for you not to get locked into one sign always being deception. ALWAYS assume that someone is telling the truth until you notice multiple things. Theyโre innocent until proven guilty and that is the way it is. Learning how to read people and detect deception is highly important.
I want to thank you for listening to this podcast and I encourage you to share it with your friends, subscribe to the feed, follow the Deception Tips blog, take a look at the books I have available, and, as always, tune in next week for a new Deception Tip.
Video Transcript
Hey guys, my name is Spencer Coffman. Thank you for watching theย Deception Tips Videos, theyโre all about teaching you how to read people and detect deception so that you will know if you are being lied to.
Today, we are going to talk about patterns and clusters of behavior. This is something that youโve heard me talk about if youโve been watching these videos If youโre a regular watcher or viewer, then youโve heard me mention clusters and patterns of behavior several times.
In addition, if you listen to the podcast, you watch the deceptions tips blog, or follow, read the e-books, or any of that other stuff, or if youโre educated when it comes to body language and deception. You no doubt have heard of clusters and patterns of behavior. The reason is because they are so very important. In fact, it is the most important aspect of reading people and detecting their emotions and relating to them and watching them and understanding what is really going on in their mind. What theyโre thinking and how they really are behaving. Because clusters are signs and groups of multiple single behaviors when theyโre put together they have a more significant meaning.
So here it is, Deception Tip number 7: It is essential to look for clusters, or patterns, of behavior when detecting deception. Liars always display more than one sign.
Now I wanted to say something one more time here, liars always display more than one sign. That is a key thing for you to remember. They always display more than one sign. Itโs not like youโre going to miss it, itโs not like youโre going to miss it and then all of a sudden youโll say, โaww man, now Iโll never find the truth.โ No. There will be more than one sign.
Theyโre going to continue to express signs of deception as long as they are lying. As long as the conscious is telling a lie, the unconscious will be fighting to put that truth out there, and there will be signs happening all over the place. And it is through realizing and learning about each of these signs that you will be able to tell. And if something is happening, youโll be able to see certain signs and youโll put one and two and three and four and youโll say, โwow, those kind of go together. That must mean theyโre lying.โ
Now, this isnโt something that youโre going to sit down and write out and itemize and consciously think about and take a long time with. No. This is something thatโs going to happen fairly quickly. You may see someone fold their arms and in your mind, right away, youโre going to say, โokay, arm folding. They could be cold, they could need security, it could be a comfort gesture, or they could be lying. They could be defensive or withholding.โ
And then, thatโll happen in a split-second in your mind. Then youโll see, okay now theyโre leaning back. Okay, leaning back, that takes away uh, comfort. It could take away cold, it could be certain others. Learning back, that sign in itself means withdrawing, pulling away. Stepping further back, they may not like something, theyโre resisting. Like if I give you something gross to try, youโre not going to put it in your mouth right away, youโre kind of going to shy away from it a little bit, so theyโre going away. Plus folding the arms.
Then, if you have other signs into that like maybe their face is doing something, maybe they said something, Those are clusters of behavior. And it happens very quickly. These signs and these patterns happen very quick. Each different sign could be a split second. Especially if itโs a certain micro expression or an emotional expression on the face. Such as the pupils dilating or maybe their eyes widen, as in surprise, something like that. A fraction of a second. But you may not see, so you donโt have to worry if you missed a certain sign. Or if someone folds their arms, and you noticed, like, maybe three seconds later.
โOh wait a minute, theyโre folding their arms. I wonder what I said three seconds ago to make them fold their arms?โ But donโt worry, because if you keep talking to them and you keep engaging, or if they keep watching a certain thing, then youโll know that there are other signs that come about. So maybe youโll keep talking and you bring up something again and they do something else. Maybe they shift their weight, or maybe they stand on a different foot. Or maybe they lean back, or they turn away, or any different thing that could happen.
If you continually go through conversation with other people, there will always be more than one sign, because people donโt stand still. If you notice, you watch the replay of these videos, Iโm not standing still here. My head is moving, my hands move a lot, Iโm always kind of bobbing back and forth. Standing still is very difficult to do. In addition, if someone stands super still, itโs pretty boring to watch them. Thereโs really nothing going on, they just kind of look like a talking head. Itโs boring. I mean, thereโs no energy, thereโs no life there. So, when people stand still thatโs also a sign in and of itself. But the main thing is always look for more than one sign. Keep an eye out for clusters and patterns of behavior.
So if this is your first time watching these videos, I would love to have youย subscribe to the channel on YouTube. In addition, if you have any questions or comments, leave them there as well. Also, if youโd like more information, weโveย got books,ย blog posts,ย podcastsย and all kinds of stuff available onย SpencerCoffman.com. That is dedicated to teaching you exactly what every body is saying.
Until next time.