Deception Tip 72:
Be mindful of a person’s bodily axis. The direction in which they tilt can tell you how open they are to the current situation.
Hello and welcome to the Deception Tips podcast where you will learn amazing cues to detect deceit that will help you read people like never before. I’m your host Spencer Coffman, let’s get started.
Hello and welcome to deception tip episode number 72, we are making progress. I really encourage you to leave a review for this podcast, it would really help me out.
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Last time, we talked about a deception tip called palms up where when liars are lying, or they’re accused of something they may turn their palms up. As we stated, it was a pre-shrug gesture, so this is something that a liar will do when they’re saying I don’t know, it’s right before that. They’re going to turn their palms up, continuing on with the gesture or turning it into a cluster would be that shrugging of the shoulders.
They may even step back or complete the whole thing and from the palms up, they’ll raise their hands like a ‘hands up’ or ‘stick em up’ cowboy situation or police having a gun pointing on you and you put your hands up, that kind of a thing. It rolls into a complete cluster or pattern of behaviors there. What does it mean?
Well, typically you’ll see it again when accusing a liar or when questioning them about something in their story when you are putting a direct contradiction against whatever they’re saying. It’s when you have doubt, it’s when you’re not believing them and when they know you’re not believing them.
They may say well, I don’t know, or they may shrug something like well, that’s what I said, and kind of turning it back on you like hey, I’m sticking with my story and they’ll turn their palms up.
They may or may not shrug the shoulders, it depends on how in-depth they get, if you start pushing them and they don’t know then you might see those shoulders shrug. If they make a statement, keep in mind you might see a slight shoulder shrug if they don’t believe that statement. Maybe they are trying to back up something and they’re making a statement, they shrug with one shoulder to push it out.
That means they have no confidence in what they’re saying, we talked about that in episode number 48. Keep all of that in mind, remember to review the videos, review the tips, I encourage you to listen to last week’s episode if you didn’t. Chances are you did, so if you did, go ahead and review the other episodes mentioned and keep in mind those other tips as well because they all fit together.
We’re making patterns, we’re making clusters of behavior so that you will know when someone is lying to you so you will not be taken advantage of by their lies. People lie all the time, whether or not they mean to or whether or not they are malicious or trying to take advantage of you is to be determined but the bottom line, is people lie all the time.
This week, we are talking about another deception tip, this one is more general, it is more related to the entire body and it is very basic. It’s something that you will be able to see right away no matter what.
It is something that people do, they do all of these behaviors but this one, this is like they do it like you can see this. People can’t even help it and even if they know they’re doing it, they still do it or if they’re conscious of it, it still happens.
This one is very obvious and it’s very apparent and it has to do with people pointing in certain directions or leaning in certain directions based on what they want. We’ve talked about similar tips before, but they were more tips for certain areas of the body. We talked about it where their legs or their shoulders or their torso might be.
So, we’re going to dive into this tip, here it is, deception tip number 72. Be mindful of a person’s bodily axis, the direction in which they tilt can tell you how open they are to the current situation. Here it is again, deception tip number 72. Be mindful of a person’s bodily axis, the direction in which they tilt can tell you how open they are to the current situation.
What does this mean? Well, when people lean in certain directions, they’re obviously either more interested in that thing or they want to go in that direction. We’ve mentioned this before as I’ve stated different things on how people want to be pointing towards exits or whether their torso is engaged in the conversation. We talked a little bit about a general thing when you have two people in a conversation if they’re facing each other the conversation appears to be closed.
Whereas if they’re more open, then they could invite a third person in there because they’re open in that conversation where they may be inviting people into that conversation. They’re not necessarily openly inviting someone by saying hey, come on in you can be a part of this conversation. What they’re doing is their body language says it’s not a private conversation or it’s not a closed conversation.
We also had how people’s feet, could be sitting, and they could be pointed in a certain direction, like towards the exit if they want to getaway. They may point their whole body, they may open up their legs to it, we talked a lot about this in episode 50 and that was towards the exit.
I encourage you to check out that episode if you want a little bit of a refresher, but I just gave you the refresher on a lot of it, so that’s pretty much it.
Keep it in mind that when people are pointed in certain directions that may be where they want to go, it also may be that they’re more interested in that conversation or in that situation.
So, a bodily axis would be their entire body, we talked again, like I said, about basically, towards the exit was their entire body but I know over the course of all of these episodes I’ve mentioned people’s frame.
So, maybe their legs are engaged in the conversation as in they’re facing, they’re squared up with the conversation, but their torso may be pointed towards the exit or somewhere else, they want to leave. Maybe it’s the opposite, their shoulders are squared up with the conversation but their legs, as in their knees or wherever they’re opened up towards the exit, they want to go.
That is pointing or leaning, that’s a bodily axis, this one is more of their entire body, it’s a leaning. They’re leaning in, they’re leaning away, forward, backward, towards the exit, away from the exit, towards the conversation, away from the conversation. We’re going to talk a lot more about it coming up right after this.
Do you want to be a human lie detector but don’t have the brains or the guts to do it? We understand that’s why we created the deception tips blog, especially for you, check it out today on spencercoffman.com.
Welcome back to deception tip episode number 72 where we are talking about the orientation of the bodily axis. What does that mean? That’s a lot of big words, orientation, bodily access, you know what those are, we’re going to break them down anyway to give you a better understanding and maybe a perspective you haven’t heard before.
So, the orientation of the body is basically wherever someone is orientated that’s where they want to be, that’s where they’re going, that’s what they have in mind. So, if you are having a conversation with three other people or there are three people in the conversation, you are a part of a group.
When you’re talking to them, let’s say you guys are all standing, you’re in a little circle, you’re in a huddle, what happens if on the football team, for example, the cheerleaders walk by? Pretty soon you see a few of the football players start to drift from that conversation. Their eyes are looking over at the cheerleaders, their heads may be turning, maybe even their shoulders are turning, they’ve left that conversation.
Their bodily axis is pointed towards those cheerleaders, they want to be in the conversation with the cheerleaders, and they’ve left that conversation. Now, they haven’t really left it, but their mind is elsewhere, they have gone, they’ve moved on, that huddle is boring them, it’s done, it’s over with. The same is true anywhere else in life if there’s a business negotiation if there’s a meeting at a coffee shop if it’s in a boardroom.
The second you see someone’s bodily orientation, whether it’s their shoulders that start to turn, their head goes a different direction, their feet and legs are pointed towards the exit, they want to get out of there. If you see that happening you’ve lost that person, you need to either get them back or dismiss them because something is not right in that conversation.
You’re saying something that they don’t want to hear anymore, they’ve given you a chance already and they’ve run out of patience now they’re done. They’re ready to leave, they don’t want to hear another tactic or a different way of presenting, they’re over it, you’ve lost them. You can get them back, however, but you need to specifically re-engage that person.
Just talk to them, ask them for their thoughts, their opinions, and be ready for a brutally honest and rude answer because you’ve already lost them. They are going to now give you the truth you hope so that you can address their concern, change and then come back.
So, you cannot be prideful and arrogant, if you see that you’ve lost someone, you need to redirect and change your thoughts and be open to whatever they consider, so keep that in mind, a person’s bodily axis.
This is also something that would go with whatever is happening around them, it doesn’t need to be some kind of important meeting. If someone is watching a movie and they really like the movie, they’re going to be leaned in, they’re going to be focused on the TV screen, whereas if it’s a movie that they don’t really care about they may not like it.
When I was in college, I had a friend and you guys have heard stories about him before, he’s an awesome person, the best guy, currently in Canada, and he was great. He moved to Canada, I went and visited him one time, those of you that know me you’re going to know who this is, but it doesn’t matter.
He was sleeping one time on the couch, I was watching a movie and he wakes up he says, “Oh man, check your position” and I said, “What?” I was focused on this movie, so I was annoyed that he bothered me. He said, “Oh, that movie is good like that, look at this” and I realized that he enacted my position.
I was feet flat on the floor, I was leaning forward, my elbows were on my knees and my hand was under my chin and my chin was resting in my hand and I was just focused, I was zoned into this movie.
The movie was Olympus Has Fallen, it’s a great movie but I was totally focused on this movie. I was leaning in, my bodily axis was pointed towards the screen on my laptop and I was engaged in that film, I was a part of it, and he made that statement. Another time, this was years prior to when I was in Canada with him, he came over one time and said, “Oh man, I know you don’t like that movie.”
I said, “Why, what’s up?” He said, “Because, like that, you lean back and you don’t even pause when you leave, and I said, “Yeah, it’s not that good of a movie. People’s bodily orientation and their bodily axis can tell you a lot about whether or not they want to be involved in something or whether or not they want to participate, whether they’re over it, or whether they like it.
When someone is leaning in, in being towards whatever they are engaging with. So, if you’re in a conversation, let’s say you’re on a date and the girl is sitting across from you at the table and she’s leaning back, twirling her hair, looking around, chewing gum, it’s done man, you’re over, you don’t have a chance. You could get a chance later but that night, no, you need to regroup and call her up for a second date or something because that one is over.
On the other hand, if you’re talking and she’s leaning in and she has got her elbow on the table and her hand is resting underneath her chin and she’s even putting some weight on her hand, maybe the palm is open and it’s on her cheek and her head is tilted, that’s good, now she’s into it, she’s listening. She wants to hear what you’re saying, she’s involved, she’s engaged with that conversation, she wants to learn more.
Girls, same thing, if a guy is out there wandering around with his body language, he’s not looking at you, he’s looking around the room, it’s done, it’s over. On the other hand, if he’s sitting there and he looks like he’s pondering something or he’s got his leg crossed in the figure 4 position, now you know you’ve got him, the deal is ready to be made, he’s interested.
So, keep in mind the bodily orientation, the axis, because wherever a person’s body is leaning or pointing that is what they are interested in or engaged with.
So, I want to thank you for listening to the Deception Tips podcast. I hope that you’ll share with your friends, subscribe to the feed, check out the videos, the blog, and take a look at the books I have available and as always, tune in next week for a new deception tip.
Hey guys, my name is Spencer Coffman, thank you for watching the deception tips videos. They’re all about teaching you how to read people and detect deception so that you will be able to tell if someone is lying to you. Today we are going to talk about a cool tip that is related to someone’s body and their orientation, where they’re pointed, what they’re doing.
If you remember, we’ve talked about this once before, but it was quite a while ago, it was in Deception Tip number 15 and it was similar to this. It was more specific though, when we talked about someone being pointed towards the exit and how if someone is pointed or orientated toward the exit, it means that they want to flee that situation or they want to get out.
So, this is related to that tip but it’s more of the bodily axis in general and where they’re going, what they’re doing, and what they may be thinking or what they may be feeling in that conversation. So, here it is, this is Deception Tip number 72. Be mindful of a person’s bodily axis. The direction in which they tilt can tell you how open they are to the current situation.
So, what I’m saying is how open they are to the current situation. For example, if you and I are having a conversation and I’m facing you square on and you’re facing me square on, we’re engaged. We’re going back and forth in this conversation, we’re both clearly interested. However, if you’re speaking to me and all of a sudden, I may be going like this or I’m looking over here, I’m looking beyond you or I might be looking at the floor.
Am I really interested in what you’re saying? Probably not because I’m not focused on you, I’m focusing on everything but you. So, when you’re speaking with someone or speaking to someone or at them, if they’re doing that then you may want to realign your tactics. If you’re giving a presentation or you’re trying to argue a point and the person is looking everywhere but you.
It doesn’t necessarily mean they need a lock eye contact with you a hundred percent but in your general vicinity and how their bodily axis is orientated. If their shoulders are pointed toward the exit but their head is to you, that means they want to get away but then where are their feet, where are their hips?
If it’s the whole shoulders, hips, toes, everything is pointed towards you, the neck, the head, then they’re interested. If one of those things is somewhere else, then they may not want to be in that conversation. So, by watching their bodily axis, you have a great insight into whether or not they are interested in your conversation or whether they like or dislike whatever is being said.
Now, keep in mind, it could also be the appearance of the person or the topic of the conversation. So, maybe you’re speaking to someone, we’re going to use like a hippie type environmentalist or a non-environmentalist big hunter. If someone who is a big hunter is talking to someone who is a tree-hugger type person, they’re obviously not going to agree.
So, if the tree hugger is trying to tell the hunter that they shouldn’t be shooting things or cutting down trees or burning wood, it’s probably going to end up in an argument. This is an extreme example but if they’re not aligned then they’re probably not going to be looking at each other, they may be trying to get away from the conversation, maybe their head is looking at them but the rest of their body is trying to walk away.
Maybe they have their phone and they’re trying to escape into the phone rather than away from the conversation. All those things could be in that variety but consider another example of two people. Maybe they’re both avid, archery, competition people and they’re having a conversation about the new arrows they are going to buy or something. They may both be very interested in that topic but one of them maybe just got back from some archery trip and hasn’t showered in two weeks.
Maybe they got scruff and they’re just unkempt and they don’t look very appealing.
Their clothes are dirty and the other one is nice and clean, and they just got showered because they had some kind of event. So, if they’re talking, even though they’re both interested, the cleaner person maybe trying to get away from the other person, even though they’re interested in the topic, it’s just the appearance of the person that is putting them off.
So, keep in mind, it may not always be the topic, it could also be the appearance but watch for the bodily access because that will give you great insight into whether or not the person wants to stay in that conversation for whatever reason, it’s for you to determine.
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Until next time.