Deception Tip 85:
Blushing means that something uncomfortable, or private, has been revealed about someone. It doesn’t always indicate deception.
Hello and welcome to the Deception Tips podcast, where you will learn amazing cues to detect deceit that will help you read people like never before. I’m your host Spencer Coffman, let’s get started.
Welcome to episode 85 of the Deception Tips podcast. Thank you for your continued listening. Feel free to get our line and let me know that you’re still listening by leaving a review on iTunes, Amazon, anywhere that you see anything related to Spencer Coffman and deception.
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Last time, we spoke of a deception tip that was more of a communication tactic. It was something that allowed the target and the suspect to bond a little bit.
The target may not have been bonding with the suspect, but the suspect was definitely bonding with the target. If the target uses relating language, the suspect will start to believe or think that they have something in common.
Therefore, when people have something in common, they are more likely to share information with one another or when they believe they have something in common as in this case.
We talked about how it was important that they believe they relate to you because if you say something about how you do this a certain way and it happens to be something similar to them, they will think that you guys are a lot alike.
If you do something a certain way and it’s like them, now they are going to think that you are like them, which is also good, either circumstance is nice. If they believe that you are like them or that they are like you, either way works, because if they think that you are like them then they will be more apt to have a superiority type. They may be a little bit contemptuous or a little bit more confident.
You may start seeing other signs like the steepling of fingers or the seat back, they’re going to lay back or their feet may go up. They’re going to start to feel like, yeah, this person’s a lot like me, that’s awesome.
On the other hand, if they feel that they’re a lot like you that’s awesome as well because now they might start to look up to you. They may want to be more like you in either of these circumstances.
They’re going to be more willing and open to talk to you, to get on your good side because they want to develop that relationship. They want to make it a little deeper, they want to build some more rapport, etc.
So, anytime you can use relating language or language that relates the two of you together or shows some commonalities, even if you really don’t like the person or you don’t believe them, you can use that as a tactic to get them to open up a little bit more.
Today, we are going to talk about a deception tip that is on the face, this one is a non-verbal sign. It is a sign that is something that occurs all the time and it isn’t necessarily deception, it is a sign that simply happens. It happens in conversation, it happens to people when they’re accused of something, it happens when something is revealed.
It’s a sign that we see all of the time, it’s also a sign that can be associated with liking someone or loving someone. The reason it’s associated with that is due to the color of the sign. If you haven’t guessed, this is a sign that is on the cheeks. Usually, what happens is when someone is accused or it’s revealed that someone likes someone, this is like with kids where they have a crush on him or her.
Their cheeks may turn a little pink or red, they may be blushing. That’s what we’re going to talk about today and the reason that they accuse that and then they blush isn’t necessarily because they have a crush on that person, that’s not why they’re blushing.
However, that’s the way society has deemed it, that when they blush, it means you have a crush on someone ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, but no, that’s not entirely true. In addition, it’s not true that when someone blushes, they’re always lying, blushing simply means that they’re uncomfortable or something has been revealed.
So, right now, I’m about to reveal this Tip to you. Here it is, Deception Tip number 85. Blushing means that something uncomfortable or private has been revealed about someone, it doesn’t always indicate deception. Here it is again, Deception Tip number 85. Blushing means that something uncomfortable or private has been revealed about someone, it doesn’t always indicate deception.
So, let’s break this down here, blushing means that something uncomfortable or private has been revealed about someone. Who is the someone? Well, it is someone that is blushing.
So, if I reveal something about you that is uncomfortable or private or maybe even a little bit embarrassing, you might blush. Why? Because you’re embarrassed or you’re scared, or you’re shocked that it was revealed.
You didn’t want that to be out in the light, so you’re blushing in terms of embarrassment or as a feeling of embarrassment. It’s like if you were shocked and you have to instantly curl up or like when you see in the movies, the cartoon characters lose their pants and they instantly move their arms and hands to cover their bodies. It’s that type of a deal, that’s more of a blushing.
They cover up their underwear that has all those pink hearts on it, they’re embarrassed, but it doesn’t always indicate deception. However, when someone lies, they could be embarrassed of being caught or if the truth is suggested or comes out, they could blush as a result of that. So, you could use this as a confirmation of whether or not that person was lying.
In addition, it means something embarrassing, so in the case of a crush on someone, it doesn’t necessarily mean that that person is in love with them or that they liked that person. The reason being is that if someone accuses another person of having a crush on another person, the first person who got accused, they may be embarrassed.
It may not be true that they have a crush but they might be embarrassed that that rumor is now out there. Therefore, they would blush, but that doesn’t mean that they like that person or that they have a crush on that person. Blushing simply means uncomfortable or embarrassed or something private has been revealed, it doesn’t necessarily mean all of these things that society says it means.
Oh, they have a crush on so-and-so, they’re in love with so-and-so, that they’re lying or that their face is heating up so they’re lying. One thing I do want to mention is that there is a little bit of a truth to some redness in the face when someone lies. You know that when people get angry, they could be red in the face, and when they blush, they can be red in the face. In addition, there is a part of the face that when some people lie in may become a little bit more red or redden and we’re going to talk all about it coming up right after this.
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Welcome back to Deception Tip 85 where we are talking about Blushing and we’ve established that blushing isn’t always something that means someone is in love with someone. It doesn’t mean that they have a crush on someone, it also doesn’t indicate deception right away. The blushing simply indicates that something private or uncomfortable has been revealed.
It’s now out in the open and the person who is blushing feels a little bit embarrassed, they feel embarrassment. Before the break, I mentioned that there is a simple sign on the face that does have to deal with deception. It also is a portion of the face that can become red, this is the tip of the nose. So, sometimes when people lie, their nose may become a little bit red.
We’ve mentioned this before, it is called the Pinocchio Effect. I believe when I mentioned it before I said it should be called the Rudolph Effect because the nose is red and Rudolph was a red nose reindeer, as you know. However, for some reason, it was the name of the Pinocchio Effect because if you know who Pinocchio is, when he would lie his nose grew.
So, it got named the Pinocchio Effect because Pinocchio has to do with lying and when humans lie, if their nose turns red it’s something to do with the nose.
They said, oh, that’s just like Pinocchio, so they named it the Pinocchio Effect. Either way, you can watch out for that because sometimes when someone’s nose turns a little bit red, you can say, hey, this could be a sign of deception.
However, it isn’t really a distinct sign of deception because your nose could turn red for a variety of reasons. You could be cold, it could be sunburnt, it could be hot, there could be any type of different reason and it’s not really a definitive sign of deception. This is why I only mentioned it before and I’m only mentioning it now because it does have to do with something similar to blushing.
In general, when someone blushes, it doesn’t always mean deception. Usually, when blushing is related to deception, it’s something that occurs after they have told the lie, it’s not even something that is during.
In addition, it’s something that is after they’ve told the lie and after they’ve been accused or after the truth has been suggested on them, so it’s after being challenged.
We’ve had a few of these tips that occur after the liar is challenged. These are things like being defensive or starting to attack or challenge back or get angry, those types of signs. This one, again, is more of an embarrassment, so if you’re telling me a lie and then all of a sudden I say, ‘no, I don’t think that’s true because I was here at this point, at this time, you have to be lying or what’s going on’.
You might feel embarrassed that you told me that lie and that I caught you so quickly and you start to blush. I would see that blushing and know that, hey, you just got embarrassed or something sensitive or private was revealed. Now, what was revealed? The lie was revealed, that was the lie that you were trying to keep private, you were trying to push it to me as the truth.
In addition, as you know, liars, when they’re lying, there’s a big battle between the conscious and the unconscious. They’re trying to convince themselves of the lie, they’re trying to keep the lie straight, they’re rehearsing it. They’re trying not to leak out all of these gestures and unconscious body language, they’re also trying to convince the target.
They’re worried about being caught, they’re worried about the stress of the lie, and all kinds of things are happening. That battle between the conscious and the unconscious is overwhelming. Therefore, they’re already on the edge of the cliff, they’re on the tip of the iceberg and they’re about to slip off.
When you come in there and you challenge them on this lie, they are going to pop, that balloon will burst because now they don’t know, they’re already super sensitive if you will.
So, when they’re challenged and because they’re so sensitive on this, that blushing may occur and you’ll see it. Normally, they may not blush if they’re challenged or attacked, they may stand strong and fight back.
Because of this battle going on inside of them and because of all this tension and stress, they are more apt to be a little bit more emotional. That’s what you’re seeing when you see blushing when someone is challenged in their lie.
So, keep that in mind, remember that it doesn’t always indicate deception. You may not have caught them in a lie, you may have simply revealed an extra detail that they wanted to leave out.
You may have revealed something about them to them. They may not have even been lying, they may have just realized something internally like, oh my gosh, I didn’t put two and two together before and you revealed that to me. I can’t believe so-and-so did that or I can’t believe they feel this way.
They may not be lying but they may have just realized that you knew something that they didn’t know you knew. You knew something about something else that they didn’t know you know and that they didn’t know. Now that they found out, they’re embarrassed that they know, it could be any variety of options. It simply means that they’re uncomfortable or embarrassed about the situation.
Therefore, what do you need to do? When you see this, you need to think about what they have to be uncomfortable about. Think about your options, think about the conversation you were having with them, did anything get revealed? Did you challenge them in anything? Did you suggest anything? Did you question anything that they said?
Think about those things, circle back to that in conversation and then watch for additional signs or other patterns and clusters of behavior that may go along with that. As you know, deception is only certain when there are patterns and clusters of behavior that you can see.
So, I want to thank you for listening to the Deception Tips podcast. I hope that you’ll share it with your friends, subscribe to the feed, take a look at the Deception Tips videos, the blog and the books that I have available and, as always, tune in next week for a new deception tip.
Hey guys, my name is Spencer Coffman, thank you for watching the Deception Tips videos. They’re all about teaching you how to read people and detect deception so that you will be able to tell if someone is lying to you. Today, we’re going to talk about a cool sign that happens when someone is feeling a little bit embarrassed or when something private has been revealed about them.
This is a sign that occurs, most of the time, not related to deception, so a lot of times it just happens in everyday conversation, it happens in everyday life, it’s something that you see and that you’re aware of. However, it does occasionally occur when you expose someone’s lie or when you expose a secret that they may have. Therefore, it’s important for us to talk about it and dedicate one of these tips to it.
So, here it is, this is deception tip number 85. Blushing means that something uncomfortable or private has been revealed about someone. It doesn’t always indicate deception. So, this is important because it doesn’t always indicate deception. For example, you see in the movies or even with little kids, it happens a lot when someone accuses someone of having a crush on someone.
That person starts blushing, maybe the other person starts blushing and then they say, oh, you’re blushing so it must be true. Well, that doesn’t mean anything, it doesn’t mean it’s true, I don’t know who came up with that because that’s stupid. You just embarrassed that person, blushing is a sign of embarrassment, your cheeks get red and all of a sudden, they’re blushing because something embarrassing has happened.
The same situation, what happens when you see all the time in the movies like people come out of the bathroom with the toilet paper in their pants and it’s hanging down. Maybe they tucked their suit jacket or their shirt into their underwear or something like that, so they’ve got their underwear pulled up or something embarrassing like that happens and then all of a sudden, they’re blushing.
Well, wait a minute, does that mean they have a crush on someone? No, I don’t think so, it’s embarrassing, so that’s why it happened. It didn’t happen with anything deceptive right there but that’s typically when you would see the blushing behavior, when something private or embarrassing has been exposed.
It can occur in deception, for example, if I’m keeping a secret or telling a lie and all of a sudden, someone ouse that lie or sheds light on it or it becomes truth and I’m caught in that lie, I may be very embarrassed that I told that lie and that blushing could happen. That’s the sign of remorse, that could be like if I normally don’t lie and I was just telling this lie.
Maybe it was a close friend and now I’m embarrassed I lied and then it’s going to be over and done with and we forgive each other, it’s done, that’s not a serious type lie. The blushing could occur though if that someone is harboring a secret and that secret gets exposed and it’s a secret about themselves, so it’s more of an embarrassing secret.
If it’s a secret they’re keeping from someone else or about someone else, chances are they’re not going to blush, they’re just going to be disappointed or upset or scared that they let that secret out. If they’re keeping their own secret, that blushing may happen because now they’ve been exposed, their whole insides, everything inside of them that they were keeping private and to themselves, someone just found out about.
They could be very embarrassed about that and that blushing could occur. Maybe they were lying about the secret and the secret got exposed and the blushing happens. So, blushing is an after effect, it is something that you can use to confirm whether you have found what you were looking for.
If indeed you were looking for something sensitive of nature or something private in that person something secretive that they were hiding. So, keep that in mind, that it isn’t something that happens all the time with deception. However, it is something that you need to be aware of when you are interrogating or speaking with people.
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Until next time.