
Deception Tip 81:
A good way to train yourself to be more observant towards body language is to watch television on mute.
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Podcast Transcript
Hello and welcome to the Deception Tips podcast where you will learn amazing cues to detect deceit that will help you read people like never before. Iโm your host Spencer Coffman, letโs get started.
Hello, and welcome to episode 81 of the Deception Tips podcast. I have a favor to ask of you, if you would please hop on iTunes or iHeart Radio or Google Play or wherever youโre listening to this podcast and leave a review.ย
Take it a step further, share that review on your social media platforms, and let other people know that youโre learning how to read people and detect deception.
Help them learn how to do the same as well, so that your friends and family will not be taken advantage of by lies. Share this with them and also leave a review so that others can find it because reviews really do help. Theyโre like gold for any kind of producer, author, or podcaster, so leave reviews because they tremendously help other people find that product.
Moving on with what we talked about last week, it was a good episode, a big episode for me because we finally made it to Smiles in Lying. If you remember, I conducted a smile study, a study back in 2013, on whether or not people could accurately detect the difference between a real versus a fake smile. The study was published in 2013, but I conducted a lot of the research in 2012.
Either way, I found a lot of alarming results and contradictory results compared to what the big-time and standard people found in that industry. We were talking about Smiles in Lying, so smiles are very prevalent in lies because a smile is the easiest way to mask emotion. When someone is feeling some type of emotion, a smile will quickly cover it up.
Why? Well, because a smile takes control of the entire face, if thereโs a little expression somewhere on the face, a smile will easily cover up it and any other expressions that may be happening. That alone is an act of deception, the smile covering another emotion. Then you have the deception that is going on with whatever that leakage was.
Remember that the unconscious is always trying to leak out nonverbal and verbal signs of truth. If thereโs some kind of expression that happens on the face, thatโs the unconscious trying to leak something out. Then the conscious tries to cover it up with a smile, so thatโs two acts of deception. You will see the smile and you need to determine whether itโs a masking smile, fake smile, or a real smile.
So, fake or real, if itโs fake, then thatโs deception right there. Then you need to figure out what it was covering up because chances are, it was covering up some form of truthful behavior. You need to figure out what was going on so that you know exactly what they were lying about or what was being hidden right there.ย
A lot of steps and a smile is the key to understanding and opening the door to go down that path and get into the other rooms and solve that puzzle, so keep that in mind.
Today, we are talking about another sign of deception that isnโt a sign at all, itโs a strategy. This is a strategy you can use to practice your deception detecting skills. It will also help you a lot more in reading people and understanding body language because youโll be able to put it together, and youโll start to see this. Now, I warn you, it is a little bit frustrating in the beginning and it could be boring and seem pointless.
The reason is that it really is kind of boring, youโre not really doing anything other than watching. You donโt even really know what youโre watching in the beginning until you start to pay attention and understand the different signs that are going on on peopleโs bodies. However, I promise you that it will help, it is interesting once you start to understand whatโs going on and once you get to know it.
In addition, weโve also hinted on this a couple of episodes ago when I mentioned how you should be believing body language because body language is truthful. Now, when I say body language I mean unconscious body language, stuff thatโs leaked out by the unconscious as signs of truth. I mentioned a good way for you to help improve your body language detecting skills is to watch TV with it on mute.
You will be able to see the peopleโs body language instead of focusing on what theyโre saying and listening to it all. Another thing you could do would be to watch crowds at a distance or watch interrogations of people from the other room without audio, so you canโt hear these things.
Either way, here it is, this is Deception Tip number 81. A good way to train yourself to be more observant towards body language is to watch television on mute. Here it is again, Deception Tip number 81. A good way to train yourself to be more observant towards body language is to watch television on mute.
Again, watching TV on mute can be a little bit boring, however, I recommend that you start with something that you already know. Therefore, pick a movie or a TV show that youโve seen before, that you enjoy, maybe one of your favorites that you donโt necessarily know all the words to it.ย
One that you would at least understand whatโs going on in the film or in the picture so that when youโre watching it off volume, on mute then you will still have an idea of whatโs happening.
That way, when you start to see body language appear, you can think about whatโs going on at that moment in the picture. Youโll be able to reason and say, okay, I remember from seeing this before that when they did this, thatโs this part in the movie and this is about to happen and this is going to happen. So, that little sign that I saw probably does indicate the fact that that person is lying.
You can get excited about it because you know whatโs about to happen because youโve seen the movie before. Youโll be able to tell whether or not youโre detecting skills are on.ย
Another thing is when you know that there are certain things in the picture where people might be lying or signs might be coming out. If youโve seen that before, you can watch without the volume to see if you notice any nonverbal signs.
A big argument that happens with this is, well, TV is fake, so how can these signs be true? If theyโre only actors, are they really lying? The entire show is an act, theyโre lying the entire time, theyโre playing a role, and theyโre not even being themselves. If someoneโs acting, theyโre lying, theyโre saying that theyโre a different name than they are, so shouldnโt you see signs of deception throughout the entire thing?
If someone is acting and theyโre saying, I am so-and-so, well, thatโs not their real name, thatโs their name in the movie. Therefore, wouldnโt that be a lie? How about all the different things that are happening? If theyโre supposed to lie in the film and pretend to deceive someone, well, is it really deceiving them if the entire film is a lie?
Thatโs what theyโre supposed to do, theyโre acting, so how can it be a true emotion and really be portrayed on the body if the whole thing is only an act and theyโre only actors? Those are some really great questions and weโre going to address them coming up right after this.
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Welcome back to Deception Tip episode number 81, where weโre talking about the importance of watching TV with the volume muted. Why is that important? It is because you will be able to read people and detect deception without any distractions of volume or sound or people talking.ย
Youโll be able to just hone in on the body language and see what you can see, especially if itโs something youโve seen before, like a movie or a picture or a TV show that you know.
Youโll be able to better pick up on whatโs happening in the movie or the film or picture. You should be able to keep your interest a lot longer because you already know whatโs going on, it wonโt be so boring or dull for you. Before we took a little break, I brought up some questions on whether or not it will really be a good thing for you to do because when someone is in a film, theyโre acting.
Therefore, that entire act is a form of deception because they are saying theyโre someone theyโre not, theyโre playing a role, and theyโre pretending to be someone else. The things that are going on in that movie arenโt real, theyโre fake. Therefore, if they have to lie or deceive someone as a part of that role, are they really deceiving someone because the entire thing is essentially an act of deception, theyโre playing a role.
Well, the good news is that that doesnโt matter because when someone is acting, a good actor gets into the role. So, in their mind, they are becoming that person, theyโre becoming that character. Therefore, while theyโre playing that part, inside they believe thatโs who they are, theyโre a great actor, they become the role. If they are playing some kind of a police officer, they are a police officer, they become it.
How do we know that good actors become their roles? Well, years ago, there was a very famous prison experiment, youโve probably heard of it, itโs called the Stanford Prison Experiment. They took ordinary people and they divided them half and half. And they said half are going to be guards, half are going to be inmates and weโre going to see what happens.
It was supposed to be a really long study, several weeks. However, the people in there, they werenโt prison guards, they werenโt police officers, they werenโt inmates, they were ordinary people. Teachers, doctors, all kinds of regular jobs, and after only a week or two, it got so serious they had to stop the study. Why did it get so serious? Because these people started to believe that that is who they were.
The guards started to believe that they were prison guards, they were being rough with these prisoners. The prisoners, they lost their sense of purpose, self-worth, everything, they thought that they were worthless inmates who were only a number.ย
They didnโt have an identity, they had nothing, these people became who they were told to be. A good actor, even if theyโre not a good actor, if they are playing that part long enough, a movie can take months to produce.
This study only happened for a couple of weeks and they had to discontinue, they had to stop because it was getting too crazy. Actors, when theyโre working for weeks on a project or months, they will become that role. So, like your TV shows that have season after season after season with 10 seasons or 14 seasons, theyโre becoming those people.
In their minds and in their bodies, they believe they are that role. They know theyโre not, obviously, but their body language and everything will reflect that person, that personality. Therefore, when theyโre in the movie and theyโre acting, itโs not an act of deception to them, they are that person, so it is who they are. Then what about the question of when someone lies in the movie as a part of that role?
Will their body and will their unconscious and everything really see it as a lie because itโs not something that is truthful? The answer to that is yes. Even though itโs acting and the whole thing isnโt real, they will still perceive it as a lie, as deception. Remember, even though the whole thing isnโt real, to them, they are that person, they are that role, so they know whatโs supposed to happen.
They know that, okay, at this minute, when weโre in this scenario, I am supposed to lie about what I did, even though they didnโt do it. Well, they did it in the movie or they did it in the script, so their character did it and they are now lying about it. That means it is a lie because they did it, in their mind, they made it real for them, therefore, they will still exhibit all of these signs of deception.
So, you will be able to see this while watching TV, even if it is a reality or a fictitious show, some kind of TV show, like the mentalist where theyโre interrogating people. That one is centered on watching people and reading them and analyzing them but you will see signs of deception within those characters or those suspects. Another great TV show, Lie to Me, that one is all about reading people and detecting deception, I highly recommend it.
You will see signs in there, some of those signs may be scripted because they are intentionally trying to teach people how to read people and detect deception. Thatโs probably why the show was discontinued because it was too powerful, people were really learning from watching that show.ย
Either way, if you donโt believe what Iโm saying, and I havenโt convinced you and youโre not convinced by watching TV, you could either watch TV shows like Monk or Burn Notice.
Those also have deception and lies that you could spot and you could see on people, but if youโre still skeptical, then simply go ahead and watch the news and watch politicians speak. Watch those kinds of things because those are generally filmed live and in real life and they arenโt scripted, theyโre not acting. The person is who they are, theyโre not playing a role. Therefore, when you see them talk, you should be able to pick up a lot of signs of body language, deception, etc.
So, no matter what youโre watching, know that you can still pick up these signs of deception and body language in whatever youโre watching. In a TV show that is scripted, you may know when itโs a lie and when itโs the truth already and you can see if there are signs that go with it.ย
When youโre watching the news or a politician’s speech, you wonโt know but you may see it, so keep trying, keep learning, and never give up on detecting deception.
I want to thank you for listening to this weekโs episode of the Deception Tips podcast. I hope that youโll share with your friends, subscribe to the feed, check out the deception tips videos, the blog, and take a look at the books I have available and, as always, tune in next week for a new deception tip.
Video Transcript
Hey guys, my name is Spencer Coffman, thank you for watching theย deception tips videos. Theyโre all about teaching you how to read people and detect deception so that you will be able to tell if someone is lying to you. Today, Iโm going to teach you a little thing that you can do to help improve your body language reading ability. Itโs important that you practice, you really need to get out there and watch people.
You need to pay attention to what theyโre saying, you need to engage in some conversations, but more important than engaging in conversations is to sit back and observe conversations. If youโre speaking with someone, chances are youโre more focused on what youโre going to say than on what they may be saying unconsciously or their body language.
You may be watching them but youโre also thinking about your response, youโre processing what theyโre saying, how you are going to reply to that. Typically, a lot of people who are in conversations donโt listen anyway, after the first two words out of the other personโs mouth, theyโre already thinking about what theyโre going to say. Chances are they are going to interrupt the other person and then try to speak what theyโre going to say anyway.
So, if you are in a conversation with someone, youโre going to have a lot more difficulty trying to learn these tips. The best thing to do is observe a conversation with two other people or with other people and you sit back, watch, listen, hear and you can get an idea of whatโs going on without being a part of that conversation.
So, here it is, this is Deception Tip number 81. A good way to train yourself to be more observant towards body language is to watch the television on mute. Whatโs really important about this is that when you are observing these other conversations, maybe you donโt want to hear what theyโre saying.
For example, if youโre in a real-life situation where you have your two friends talking and youโre sitting on the side and youโre watching this. These two people may be talking but you know a lot about this topic, so rather than watch them, youโre starting to think about it in your mind, the words could be distracting. Another thing you could do is if youโre at home and you donโt want to go out, you could watch the TV on mute.
Why would we do this, why mute the TV? Remember, words are deceptive, we have two languages, body language and spoken language and body language is truthful, spoken language can be false, itโs 50/50, itโs 75/25, a lot of things that people say are not true. So, when youโre doing this, you can watch the TV on mute to get the body language.
Remember in episode number 79, we talked about believing body language because itโs truthful. So, if you watch the TV on mute, this will give you a really good perspective on different gestures that they may be doing, different facial expressions that may be happening. One thing that you want to consider is are you going to watch a movie or are you going to watch a political type conversation or news.
If youโre watching a movie, these are actors, actors who are really good, they can get lying expression down because theyโre playing a role. So, when they tell a lie in the script, they feel like itโs a lie, itโs like a third level because their entire role is a lie. Theyโre a real person in real life and then in the movie, theyโre pretending to be someone else, so theyโre being deceptive.
A really good actor can get into that role and it becomes real for them, so if their character is supposed to lie in the movie or in the program, their body language will believe that that is a lie since they believe that they are actually that role. Itโs tricky but some actors who arenโt that good, theyโre not going to display that, so youโre kind of hit and miss whether or not youโre really going to see genuine and helpful things when you put the TV on mute during a movie or a program.
Plus, a lot of times when people are talking in those things, they donโt have the face, or you can hardly see it. Therefore, it is better to watch things like political debates or news programs where the TV anchors or the reporters are just like this, where theyโre right there with the camera. Theyโre speaking to the audience, to the camera, to the people, because number one, you have their entire face and body language the entire time.
Number two, itโs the real person, so whatever theyโre saying you know that there are genuine expressions happening there. Theyโre not playing a role, itโs not a movie, itโs not for entertainment, I mean it might be but itโs something that they are producing from themselves, so itโs better to watch those. Watch it on mute, you could put it with the volume on two and watch multiple times so that you can see the differences that happen.
Maybe you know after listening to it, okay, I know for a fact these three things were not true because youโre watching one from five years ago. Youโre not watching the current one, youโre watching an old one, so you know what theyโre saying if itโs true or not. Now you can match it up, okay, I saw this body language and this body language and this body language then you can put it together as your own little research project. So, itโs something I highly recommend doing, itโs something thatโs really going to help you with your body language and deception studies.
So, if this is your first time watching these videos, Iโd love to have youย subscribe to the channel on YouTube. Feel free to comment with any questions you may have below. If on this particular video you found some different debates or political stuff that was helpful for you, comment down there with it, with the links so that other people can have that information as well. Also, if youโd like some more information,ย we have books,ย blog posts, andย podcastsย all available onย spencercoffman.comย that are 100% dedicated to teaching you what every body is really saying.
Until next time.